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Below Zero
Contributed by
merry
on
Saturday, 22nd January 2005 @ 08:22:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Facing the cold wind head on
Strong currents from the north
Blow brutal icy air into my lungs
Eyes watering
My hair blows around my face
I say good-bye
The words carried away on a gust
You stand there looking vacant
Your hands in your pockets
The taste of medicine in my mouth
Reminds me of bitter endings
But not this one
Only bittersweet sense of loss
You try to say goodbye and fail
I smile to make it easier
No sense injecting guilt into it
You smile too
I watch you drive away
Standing in the frozen landscape
Until you disappeared
Copyright ©
merry
... [
2005-01-22 08:22:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Below Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Saturday, 22nd January 2005 @ 09:16:42 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I read this and felt the cold and wind...saw the faces of these two people. Goodbye is never easy....
This is another perfect write in my eyes.
Roses for my daisy
Larry |
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Re: Below Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by evilcherry312 on
Saturday, 22nd January 2005 @ 11:02:35 AM AEST
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Amazing visuals come to mind. Great word choice and description of your situation. Very vivid and very good. Kudos!
~Your evil cherry |
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Re: Below Zero
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Saturday, 22nd January 2005 @ 01:51:46 PM AEST
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I can feel every single detail of the cold weather just from the way you've described it. Coming from Wisconsin, I experience this weather almost every day once the winter comes.
I like the connection between the weather and the attitude/ambiance about the breakup. Very appropos.
Extremely well done.
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
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