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Is It Really Better?
Contributed by
sir_odd87
on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 06:33:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
He said that our nation's bird
Should be a turkey
He said that death and
Taxes were both certain.
And he has said that
To have loved and lost
Is better than
To not have loved at all.
He may have invented a stove,
And written an almanac,
But I think the man on the
Hundred-dollar bill
Is full of it.
The bald eagle is a noble bird.
Flying free, it deserves to be
The symbol of our nation.
I'm not dead,
And I don't make enough
Money to be eligible for taxes.
And let me tell you
Once and for all:
It is much WORSE
To have lost a love
Than to never have one at all.
I once had the most wonderful girl.
The greatest girl on this green Earth.
Her hair was long and silky smooth.
Her eyes a gorgeous hue that shined
When she was happy, and were hazy
When she wasn't.
How I miss the taste of her lips,
The soft, warm, smoothness of her skin.
I remember how I used to hold her so close.
I miss her so much, I could die.
I would rather to have never
Known her than to have lost her.
Mr. Franklin, what were you on?
Whatever it was, perscribe it to me.
Maybe it will help me forget her.
Copyright ©
sir_odd87
... [
2005-01-21 18:33:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Is It Really Better?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 06:36:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I think Franklin was looking at it from one side of the fence, and you're on the other......a very thoughtful poem. |
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Re: Is It Really Better?
(User Rating: 1 )
by breny on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 06:43:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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lol you show your yearning for this girl very well. and i definatly agree with you. Frankin must have said all that stuff when he was drunk or something...
~Brenna~ |
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Re: Is It Really Better?
(User Rating: 1 )
by sid_the_tampon_fairy on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 06:44:00 PM AEST
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I love this poem...Dude...I never would of thought of something like that...but im sure glad that you did! Lovely...im sorry you lost her.
*hugs*
Sid |
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Re: Is It Really Better?
(User Rating: 1 )
by O7NeVeS on
Saturday, 22nd January 2005 @ 11:31:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I agree with them all! Great write, keep it up! TD |
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Re: Is It Really Better?
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 06:51:46 AM AEST
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| I disagree with the comments at hand..But no big suprise there..Your writing lacks the reality of what real writing is..Perhaps you may be more like Donaven or Kesslinger however they were given the Tom Wolfe award as well..Not a big honor at all..There is no depth here other then that of perhaps a puddle. |
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Re: Is It Really Better?
(User Rating: 1 )
by subchild on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 11:32:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Yes I am also not going to be polite here..But unlike my "vision" who spoke earlier..It is not worth my comment nor another thought. |
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Re: Is It Really Better?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 27th January 2005 @ 05:20:05 PM AEST
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I've often wondered how a person could lack so much style as to recommend a turkey over an eagle. Should we write patriotic poetry about turkeys?
Good satire; a good effort for one writing for fun; but your delivery needs work. More polish, more art, is needed to make this truly enjoyable (or at least potable to those rather ungracious critics of yours). Keep it up! You can express yourself.
Andrew |
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