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What Do You Say?
Contributed by
angel_eyes70
on
Thursday, 20th January 2005 @ 02:54:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
ChristianPoetry
|
i really wanna go down the right road
to take off a load.
Mother help me,
cant you see?
i dont know the way,
so what do you say?
will you help me out?
when im alone i pout.
i love you!
and i know you love me too.
so what do you say?
can you help me to stay?
jesus i need you even more,
then ever before.
i desire to have the boldness
but not the coldness
so what do you say?
the concequences im willing to pay!
Copyright ©
angel_eyes70
... [
2005-01-20 14:54:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: What Do You Say?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Summerwine on
Thursday, 20th January 2005 @ 03:01:25 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I honestly like your poem, but i think it didn't quite flow as well as it in places as it should have done. Keep striving to be the best you can be....tc, Yvonne |
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Re: What Do You Say?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dri on
Thursday, 20th January 2005 @ 03:48:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i don't show my poetry to people that i know... this site is really good for people who are a little shy about their poetry.
good poem, keep working and your flow will get better. trust me. i just went leafing through some of my really old poems and i was surprised at how far i've come. write,write,write! |
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Re: What Do You Say?
(User Rating: 1 )
by devine_xox on
Thursday, 20th January 2005 @ 05:12:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Hi angel, I understand its your first poem and if you spent a little more time on it it wouldve been great. People understand what you are trying to say but you have to learn to play around with words and think how you want the poem to really sound.For a first time poem it was a really good attempt |
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Re: What Do You Say?
(User Rating: 1 )
by angel_eyes70 on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 10:54:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| lol thank you eveybody, i wrote it like two nights ago and i want to be a good christain and everything but it is so hard ecpesially being a young teen and all, well thanx anny ways |
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Re: What Do You Say?
(User Rating: 1 )
by sick_n_twisted on
Sunday, 3rd April 2005 @ 02:38:45 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| kim,you are a good person trust me...you didnt even wanna egg houses on halloween lol...your a really good person and prolly will always be...good write! |
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