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Snow
Contributed by
fielding88
on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 07:34:43 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
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Here I lie, adrift in snow.
For what reason, I do not know.
And so my life was lived for this,
And not a love that I did miss.
My lover left, this much I see,
This woman once held dear to me.
For she was not given the one reward
A relationship like ours was working toward.
The key that held my deepest desire,
To love one that I so admired
Was lost to me, all this I know
Along with myself, adrift, in the cold, white snow…
Copyright ©
fielding88
... [
2005-01-17 19:34:43] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Snow
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 07:36:51 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow! This is excellent. Very impressive for having been your first poem ever written. Nice work. |
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Re: Snow
(User Rating: 1 ) by Kano on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 07:42:17 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very good poem. It is amazing how that works isn't it? I quit writing poems when I was about ten then all of the sudden one night I just started writing and I have not stopped yet. Very good poem It is well written good job. |
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Re: Snow
(User Rating: 1 ) by CarlyGirl on
Tuesday, 18th January 2005 @ 08:36:12 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow You can have more restless nights like this I love your work!!!:) |
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Re: Snow
(User Rating: 1 ) by CurtisC on
Tuesday, 18th January 2005 @ 12:01:36 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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very nice, It has the same kinda style as a lot of stuff that I write so I really like this one...good write
Curtis |
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Re: Snow
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 18th January 2005 @ 03:05:44 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I'll say its better than the first poem I ever wrote. Its visually adept, and rhymes. 2 things I like in poetry. I'll spare you any constructive commentary, because I don't know how long ago this was written, and I suspect that you have improved in some fashion since then . . .
so until you submit again, I am
N_F |
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Re: Snow
(User Rating: 1 ) by Essentially9 on
Friday, 22nd April 2005 @ 09:06:20 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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better than poe i must say. that is a feat in itself. i could go on for days about this poem, but i will simply say that i loved it, and there is not a reason to feel otherwise. |
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Re: Snow
(User Rating: 1 ) by xXcrossedXx on
Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 01:05:02 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Beautifully written, especially for your first poem! Everything flowed wonderfully and the ending was brilliant, keeo up more like these.
--amanda-- |
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Re: Snow
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Saturday, 7th March 2009 @ 03:33:26 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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And I am so glad you started and kept going. I would say you're a natural and this is great; espeically considering it's your first poem.
Takecare.
Tim |
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