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~!~Walls~!~
Contributed by
lil_noel09
on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 11:47:15 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Walls
Walls so tall
They all stand so high
Blocking our view
If only i could fly
I feel so trapped
I wish I could run
Far, far from here
Towards the rising sun
This place is so boring
Oh, father, can't you see
The mountains are so beautiful
That's where I want to be
I'm going to paint a picture
Of where I can't go back
Those beautiful mountains
Are what I will always lack
I was thinking about it
And when feeling quite bent
I thought, I'll be like my mother
And learn to be content
Copyright ©
lil_noel09
... [
2005-01-17 11:47:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ~!~Walls~!~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 12:05:17 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| very good. i liked the first two stanzas the best because they relate to me in a fashion. but your other stanzas are just as good with being written so well. |
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Re: ~!~Walls~!~
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 01:33:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| What a beautiful and expressive write. The stanza about the mountains to me painted a very visual atmosphere for the poem. Keep writing like this and those mountains will not be walls they will be peaks you have climbed. KEEP IT UP!! |
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Re: ~!~Walls~!~
(User Rating: 1 )
by english-pea-pelter on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 12:53:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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try to fly!! ~ ^_^ ~
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Re: ~!~Walls~!~
(User Rating: 1 )
by assassinatorgirl on
Sunday, 27th November 2005 @ 12:25:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| aw, i like that she's content at the end ^_^ nice poem. |
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