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Cut
Contributed by
frozensuicide
on
Thursday, 5th December 2002 @ 05:20:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
the rambuctuous intention to slice was on my mind that night.
i lingered to the kitchen with no less that fright.
i didnt want to get caught you see,
as blood on my arm would soon pour down on me.
i took a knife and took a cut.
the bitter extacy of lucious pain overwhelmed me but i dont know what,
made me jittery that night,
because soon, i saw a glowing light.
i slinked behind the counter with the blade still perssed on my inner wrist.
i closed my eyes and shook with a yerning for more pain and bliss such as a burning kiss,
to take me away from my reality,
drive me from my mortality.
a cut was nothing but a simple drawn of blood.
just a rush of excrucinating confusional pain of a flood.
nothing could stop me from my distastorous deed,
as the cut on my arm began to bleed.
footsteps pressed upon the floor that moment,
the sweet smell of cucumber melon scent,
overwhelmed me when i saw my sister right there,
looking at me with saddness, fright, and despair.
i didnt know how to react.
let alone i felt alone in fact,
that she stared at me with burning tears right then,
and i hoped as blood kept pouring that it wasnt my end.
i felt cold and dark just crouched there staring at her,
her staring at me, my cut there.
she asked me, "Why did you do that?!"
the only thing i could do was shug. "you couldnt understand that."
but she shook her head tears slapping the ground,
and she looked at me with a worried frown.
"I dont want you to die." she said.
"i'm not going to die..." i told her as i bled.
blood poured on my clothes red,
and i knew right then i went to far. close to dead.
she called nine one one so quick,
and i felt my self fall as the phone made a click.
weak and cold scared and tired,
i heard the sirens and the wired.
they came soon quick so swift to fast,
and got me into the emergency room at last.
they stopped the bleeding,
and took a reading,
my heart at a normal beat,
my body now at a normal heat,
and my arm stitched,
my sister b**ched,
as i got my tecnus shot.
from a cut i should have not,
i survived that night from that cut,
and my parents stared at me but
i knew right then they were in shame,
that they might feel that were to blame
because i never could tell them the reason,
why i cut in this season.
the doctor came to me and looked at me.
staring at him i could see,
that things would never be right,
because his lips were pressed so tight.
i lost alot of blood he defined,
and not seeing the problems my family were blind.
on my arm were excessive cuts and scratches,
and scars in little batches.
they put me on zoloft you see,
and now i dont know if im even happy.
i promised my mother i wouldnt cut,
but you see i still want to cut.
what if my time comes and it goes to far?
that im so unhappy some how and i make a scar?
i nearly lost my life i remember...
and that night i tried was a blur...
as i made that cut and bled so much,
that i died right then but reawoken by a touch,
of a cut that took a day of my life i want back,
but you only live one life and you choose what to do with your life without a lack.
so i can never take back that cut i made,
from a distant pain and raid,
of wanting to flee from the pain,
that a cut is something you do when your not sane.
Copyright ©
frozensuicide
... [
2002-12-05 17:20:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 )
by ashleigh4 on
Thursday, 5th December 2002 @ 05:25:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| thankyou so much for that poem it really got to me... i know exactly what it is like, having tried to kill myself twice... i have scars all up my arm, and i am also on zoloft... thankyou that poem really helped with my perception of what i am going through. |
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 )
by sughy on
Thursday, 5th December 2002 @ 05:35:00 PM AEST
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| this was a very emotional, but good, write! keep it up! |
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sandra on
Thursday, 5th December 2002 @ 06:52:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I hope this is not a true story, however, if it is, I understand it completely. See, I am going through the same thing. And wish it upon no one. Please, just remember, how you felt when you did go to far. And hopefully, it will help you realize that you truly want to live and that life is worth living
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Friday, 6th December 2002 @ 12:24:43 AM AEST
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Oh my God... This hit sooooo close to home. Holy Crap. I have been there sooooo many times 'cept no one has been there when I am cutting. All the emotions pain and ecstasy molded into one flooded down on me when I was reading this. Wow I dont know what to say. This was friggin amazing!
-Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 )
by hardcoreputa on
Tuesday, 11th March 2003 @ 12:44:07 AM AEST
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| i know what you mean. self harm is probubly the hardest thing to explain. this poem was so filled with emotion. i dont know what i would do if they ever found out, anyways stay strong, a great poem. thanx for sharing~apryl |
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 )
by immortal_pain on
Saturday, 23rd October 2004 @ 09:24:39 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| by gods and goddesses I loved that poem. I know eaxtly how it is, no one ever understands why you cut and they tell you to stop and you say you want to stop when you dont. were you really put on Zoloft? If y ou were you shouldn't take it! Its the number one anti-depressed that causes suicide. it ***** with your mind real bad. message me sometime if ya want you seem pretty cool. |
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dri on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 07:26:07 PM AEST
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| i don't think i could live with my parents knowing... very good write. usually the longer poems tend to drag, but this was good to the last word! |
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Re: Cut
(User Rating: 1 )
by humboldtsweetie33 on
Saturday, 15th January 2005 @ 08:38:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Nice rhyming in it. very well described. i hope everything is going good for you. |
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