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Sands
Contributed by
imnohbdy
on
Friday, 14th January 2005 @ 06:19:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Like a butterfly
Crushed in the palm of my hand
I cut u loose
I turn u into sand
U drift through my fingers into time
It takes forever to lift the burden of proof
From my mind
For all I know is true
It passes through my mind
And I can't stop u
From destroying all
U crush the walls and burn through all That's false.
Copyright ©
imnohbdy
... [
2005-01-14 18:19:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sands
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Friday, 14th January 2005 @ 06:42:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Awesome poem.
Spazzo |
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Re: Sands
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 14th January 2005 @ 07:27:16 PM AEST
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| excellent write. amazing in fact. even though most poems are written for a reason, the poems are mostly remembered by a readers interpretation. the only problem i have with this, is you say u, instead of you. dont short cut words, because then you short cut poems. all saying u makes me think, is that you dont want to put effort into this poem with typing two extra letters. something this good, takes effort, so why not show it? |
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Re: Sands
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Friday, 14th January 2005 @ 08:00:10 PM AEST
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The softnest and flowing of butterflies..........very expression write. From the inner soul, and emotionally side. Beautiful...........thanks for the sharing.
Brew~ |
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Re: Sands
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 15th January 2005 @ 03:45:06 PM AEST
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Very interesting piece. I like this... the imagery is wonderful. The first four lines clinched it for me --- a terrific opening.
Welcome to YPDC! I do hope stick around and share some more of your poetry!
~SNM~
(who by the way, completely agrees with E9's comment about spelling out the word "you") |
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