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Drowning in a Sea of Love
Contributed by
spike
on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 01:27:58 AM in AEST
Topic:
fantasy
|
'Her hair was as a wet fleece of gold,
and each separate hair as a thread of line gold in a cup of glass.
Her body was as white ivory, and her tail was of silver and pearl.
Silver and pearl was her tail, and the green weeds of the sea coiled round it;
and like sea-shells were her ears, and her lips were like sea-coral.
The cold waves dashed over her cold breasts, and the salt glistened upon her eyelids.
' The Fisherman and his Soul by Oscar Wilde (1888)
Beneath the waves she calls to him,
Lonely songs of sweet desire
Her voice as tempting as any sin,
A plea to quench her ardent fire
In fitful sleep he sees her there,
An angel swimming in the sea
Her tresses floating light as air,
An ethereal beauty, wild and free
In dreams he holds her in his arms,
Her breath the very kiss of life
Enraptured by her orphic charms,
But imaginings do not suffice
Now
Alone he stands upon the shore,
His chest tightening for the task ahead
Passion wove this strange amour,
That drew him from his lonely bed
She crests the waves to steal a glance,
Of her lover standing on the beach
A soul held fast in mer-romance,
Their union enticingly out of reach.
And so he draws in precious air,
Preparing for the long descent
The dark abyss for them to share,
Perhaps their hearts will be content.
Copyright ©
spike
... [
2005-01-13 01:27:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Drowning in a Sea of Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 01:58:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow..all I can say.. starkist.. this is really great..and I love the picture.. |
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Re: Drowning in a Sea of Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 02:56:24 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow very interesting and romantic.Nice |
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Re: Drowning in a Sea of Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 05:21:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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mystical and beautiful, a lovely write
pix xx |
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Re: Drowning in a Sea of Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 03:00:40 PM AEST
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Intriguing and tragic ending. I've written some mer-poems in my time, but never thought of including the term, 'mer-romance' - my take is with Sireens, as opposed to Unfathomable Sirens. Very imaginative, at any rate.
Nice flow - although these lines
"Of her lover standing on the beach..
Their union enticingly out of reach."
Runs out of syllables, with 'standing' and with 'enticingly', respectively. I'd remove 'standing' and change the next line to
"Their kisses still just out of reach."
OK, so perhaps kisses is a bit lame, but I think you get the picture.
Keep writing, Spike. |
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Re: Drowning in a Sea of Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 09:49:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Excellent write......loved it
Jenni |
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Re: Drowning in a Sea of Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 20th January 2005 @ 10:42:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Such wonderful imagery!
sweet and sad, yet somehow hopeful too...
Nice Job! |
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Re: Drowning in a Sea of Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 12:13:44 AM AEST
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| This is a beautiful poem and so very romantic. I like it! Nice job! Cheers! |
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Re: Drowning in a Sea of Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 06:13:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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spike, this is a gorgeous, well woven tale, hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Drowning in a Sea of Love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wolfareen on
Friday, 3rd June 2005 @ 05:39:23 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Ok, Spike, now I see what you mean about pictures lifting the poem. The picture really helped to see the images in my head and the poem is just fantastic, full of imagery and darkness but love and, well, I could ramble on for ages lol. Brilliant. Wolfareen xx |
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