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The first thought of man

Contributed by iodinelove on Wednesday, 12th January 2005 @ 01:52:40 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

One twenty two AM
The first thought of man as he approached
tearing past the waters tearing flesh the taste of blood
and oxygen the tiny voice issuing forth the unfamiliar scent
the broad calloused hand lifting upheaving swatting his back his connection
severed his fear unrecognized the cold blanket at his feet
his open eyes
staring rapidly
unsure unaware
his small hand clasping
the warm flesh of his flesh the realization
of existence of beginning
of rebirth of humanity
sensing the darkness all around him seeing light
cold adulterous light and remembering
the first breath of air the first sign of light breaking
the folds breaking the confusion the calculations the paperwork
his fragile body breaking down trembling at the warm
intrusion of milk nourishing him feeding him the necessity
the desire the pleasure all coming down to nothing coming
down to one single feeling one moment causing
every moment his wiring starting to sizzle
his laughter dying in fits of black in coughing crudely
at his mother looking down his children watching
from the bedside watching the white rising chest hollow and fall

Copyright © iodinelove ... [ 2005-01-12 01:52:40]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The first thought of man (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Friday, 27th May 2005 @ 09:07:53 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

the rebirth of man still will have the end of man...thats what i got from it. your thoughts seemed a bit fragmented in this, and to string them together would make this a bit better.

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