|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
I Remember
Contributed by
wetnwild
on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 08:48:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
goodbyepoetry
|
I remember when I first met you,
tall with blond hair and eyes so blue.
I remember when we first started going out,
and how Lee got jealous and was filled with doubt.
I remember how you used to smoke crack,
and how one day you wouldn't be able to make it back.
I remember when we went camping,
getting so drunk all I kept doing was falling.
I remember hanging out over at Jhoney"s,
and how you ate that five-year-old E-Z Cheese.
I remember when your sister shot you in the thumb,
and how you wanted to strangle her till she went numb.
I remember when Cynthia and I made that cake,
and how you and Travis ate it all so we swore never again to bake.
I remember that party you had,
and how selling drugs quickly turned it bad.
I remember always riding by your side,
even when ***** went down and I was forced to hide.
I remember driving around in Jhoney's car,
going to five points, it seemed so far.
I remember when you got stabbed and I got the call,
I prayed to God you wouldn't see the light at the end of the hall.
I remember staying at the hospital with you everyday,
that's when you realized you were in Love with me and that's how it would always stay.
I remember when you had to skip state,
and how hard it was to once again tempt fate.
I remember how you finally went to jail,
and how this time there was no chance for bail.
I remember going to all your court dates,
and how I had to cover for you so people woulden't hate.
I remember when the judge sentenced you to ten years,
and how I shed ten thousand tears.
I remember the first time I went to the prison to visit you,
and how we both promised we'd always be true.
I remember you getting jealous over nothing at all,
so all I could do was watch our relationship fall.
I remember visiting you that one last time,
I was no longer yours and you were no longer mine.
I remember how we were suppose to get married when you got out,
but you screwed that up by not knowing what trust was about.
I remember as I left the prison your tears didn't lack,
turns out four years was to much to take back. . .
Copyright ©
wetnwild
... [
2005-01-11 20:48:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: I Remember
(User Rating: 1 )
by O7NeVeS on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 08:59:27 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Wow, very heartfelt. Keep up the writing this was very good. TD |
|
|
Re: I Remember
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 09:02:40 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| good write. many of these rhymes seemed forced though. when diction has to be awkward to make a rhyme work, its usually forced. also a rhyme is forced when the subjects of the two verses dont relate, or it just sounds forced just to stick with the format of rhyme scheme. your last verse was amazing. pure and simple. an ending worth reading to. |
|
|
Re: I Remember
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 09:05:50 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| The ending was very good..The first half was a bit wishy washy to me really..But all in all it was not to bad. |
|
|
Re: I Remember
(User Rating: 1 )
by wetnwild on
Wednesday, 12th January 2005 @ 04:17:26 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Thanks for all your guy's feedback, this one wasent really a poem, but a paper I had to do for class. It was kinda forced. Thanx again!!
Love, Wentwild |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
