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Scilence
Contributed by
juggalette_chick666pk
on
Monday, 10th January 2005 @ 08:08:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I walk along this darkned lonlely street,
Shadows of the trees meet my own,
The sky is clear and the moon is bright,
Scilence,
I fear this most of all,
The scilence of the world,
We have people in the world who can't be heard,
Why wont we listen?
The cries and screams of those who need us most,
These people are the ones who said they be fine,
They're not,
We leave them in the dark to rot,
To leave them to decay,
Scilence,
I step closer to a person crying,
I stop to see if they needed help,
They turned and looked away,
Why wont she listen?
Does she even care?
I ask once more and got a response,
She need a person to listen,
Then I realized.............
The girl who needed help..........
Was me.
Copyright ©
juggalette_chick666pk
... [
2005-01-10 20:08:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Scilence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 10th January 2005 @ 08:49:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| its silence. this poem was very good. the ending is very weak though. weak because its not original. endings are supposed to sum up the poem, have a twist, or bring the poem to a powerful or emotional end. this ending was none of the above. lack of creativity can ruin a masterpiece. |
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Re: Scilence
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Monday, 10th January 2005 @ 08:52:13 PM AEST
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| i will have to agree here with Jennifer..Except I'll say what she may have wanted to...This sucks..SCILENCE WTF IS THAT.Really if I said anymore I will get banned from the site..Lame |
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Re: Scilence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Unheard_Mute on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 03:28:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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o...k...that's very...um...not...nice...afterdark...I thought it was a great poem, you didn't have to get all rude 'n stuff...
as for origionality... I must confess I wrote one somewhat similar to this one except ending with self-hate... I do like this one though... despite afterdark's oppinion...
As for "Silence" I'm no expert but I thought silence in the poem meant the unheard people, and herself, who need help... |
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