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Lies about Cocaine
Contributed by
darkplaidbabe
on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 04:03:01 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Lie, you said.
And it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Lie? I replied. Not me.
Never ever, ever I said.
It was a lie.
Forget, you said.
And it astonished me.
How could I forget? I said. I couldn’t.
Always, always, always! I argued.
It had slipped my mind.
Over, you said.
And it brought tears to my eyes.
Please! I screamed. I didn’t mean to.
I loved you more than anything.
I hate you.
Cocaine, you said.
And I drew a quick breath.
Be careful, I warned. I was too reckless with my words.
It was dangerous, but I knew it wouldn’t kill you.
And then…. you died.
Copyright ©
darkplaidbabe
... [
2005-01-08 16:03:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lies about Cocaine
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 04:06:22 PM AEST
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| I dont know what the big deal is..Try a higher cut of cocaine then.. |
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Re: Lies about Cocaine
(User Rating: 1 )
by LevyMetal on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 04:29:23 PM AEST
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| this poem was obviously well thought out. flowed pretty good. I like how it wasnt really written in complete sentences, but the words were so demanding to continue on reading-it kept me intrigued the whole time. |
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Re: Lies about Cocaine
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkplaidbabe on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 04:40:19 PM AEST
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First of all the poem is not entirely about cocaine, thats only the last stanza, and secondly, how dare you say something like that? I lost one of the very few people i ever loved and you say "try a higher cut of cocaine" well you certainly sound like a genuine ***** to me, hey you should try something, its called "empathy".
~Kreamy |
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Re: Lies about Cocaine
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkplaidbabe on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 04:44:39 PM AEST
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not to mention respect for the dead.
*these comments are a reply to AFTERDARKS comments and to no one elses, thanks*
~Kreamy |
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Re: Lies about Cocaine
(User Rating: 1 )
by subchild on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 04:50:27 PM AEST
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| Really you know you should to be less offenisve to ur comments here..You ask for comments you should take what comes..Stop whining about what he wrote and just post more..Who gives a f,uck |
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Re: Lies about Cocaine
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkplaidbabe on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 04:53:13 PM AEST
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You're right i should have been more respectful but as i pointed out to him, i expect either constructive criticism or a comment on whether the write was enjoyable or not...he didnt mention anything about the write...just about cocaine and how its "not a big deal", im sorry but it offended me. I thought this site would give me advice on my poems and they're quality, not cocaine.
~Kreamy |
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Re: Lies about Cocaine
(User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 05:21:24 PM AEST
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First off, amazing write...really good flow and your words really made me feel it...Secondly, you have every right to be offended at what that bastard Afterdark said, that was a real d'ck-wipe comment...I'm very sorry for your loss
Mason |
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Re: Lies about Cocaine
(User Rating: 1 )
by subchild on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 08:22:19 PM AEST
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| To be honest I thought his comment was quite funny in a sick sort of way..But then again I am a bit,ch |
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Re: Lies about Cocaine
(User Rating: 1 )
by Scarlett on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 05:00:41 AM AEST
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liked the way this was written.
first two stanzas, liked how the last line contradicted what you were actually saying in the verse.
nice work! |
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