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I'm Sorry
Contributed by
EternalNight4x
on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 02:28:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
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I知 sorry that I caused you pain
I知 sorry that I drain my veins
I知 sorry I never express my thought
I知 sorry torment is all I致e brought
I知 sorry that I知 not good enough
I知 sorry that dealing with me gets tough
I知 sorry I never have much to say
I知 sorry I cause you pain each day
I知 sorry I never know how to reply
I知 sorry that I constantly lie
I知 sorry that a flee from my fears
I知 sorry my words you never hear
I知 sorry that to you I don稚 care
I知 sorry to be with me you must bare
I知 sorry that I never said goodbye
It痴 for the best that I did die
Copyright ツゥ
EternalNight4x
... [
2005-01-08 14:28:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I'm Sorry
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 02:34:59 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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"I'm sorry" I read this! |
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Re: I'm Sorry
(User Rating: 1 ) by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 02:40:42 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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well this could be better if you wouldnt say "im sorry" every line but once. words that are repeated lose their meaning, power, and emotion. to me, and others, it is also annoying. you have good rhymes and substance. everything except for the repeating is good. you can say im sorry once in a poem, and it can carry through the entire poem. |
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Re: I'm Sorry
(User Rating: 1 ) by afterdark on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 02:45:19 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I really should not even try to comment here. |
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Re: I'm Sorry
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rolzwalt on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 03:00:20 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I think it's a good poem. I would also take out some "I'm sorry that" s but keep the first two and add an extra one at the end maybe. Some of the lines might seem connected this way though. But that's just a suggestion. It's good to read. |
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Re: I'm Sorry
(User Rating: 1 ) by socialburnin on
Sunday, 9th January 2005 @ 03:18:38 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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u have nothing to be sorry for, it wasent your fault, it was mine and u have nothing to be sorry for |
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