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There I am
Contributed by
karmen
on
Friday, 7th January 2005 @ 07:08:13 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
There I am,
lying on the ground,
dead,
just because of all the things
you people say to me.
I guess now you see how much
it really does hurt,
and really does mean something.
So now you see,
what you’ve done to me,
you’ve pushed me to this point.
Every time you said something,
it just inched me closer to this.
You made life hell for me,
and what did I ever do to you?
...nothing.
So now, thanks to your words,
I’m gone.
There I am,
lying on the ground.
Air no longer going through my lungs,
my heart no longer beating,
cuts all over my arms,
blood below me.
There I am, lifeless as can be,
dead.
Copyright ©
karmen
... [
2005-01-07 19:08:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: There I am
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Friday, 7th January 2005 @ 07:10:05 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Hmmm, it's kinda hard to comment because I kept feeling I've read this before. Sometimes there are new ways to say the same thing...sometimes there are nuances that haven't been uncovered and depths that haven't been revealed. Unfortunately, you haven't done that here. I'd take this back to the editing board.
Stitch |
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Re: There I am
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 12:08:47 AM AEST
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a Message)
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verry well stated, vivd and emotionaly expressive u
write well sorry 4 the anguish u feel but don't stop
writting, u write well . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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