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The Guardian
Contributed by
wray
on
Thursday, 6th January 2005 @ 09:19:34 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Amidst the wreck she stands alone,
Amidst the stone of walls unyielding,
Fires fielding love once grown;
But now alone, the fields of stone.
Her heart cannot be broken down
Nor opened now, nor hunted down.
The bow now swings between her hands:
With arrows lead, she guards her lands.
For years she’s stood as sentinel.
I knew her well—her eyes once bright
Now black as night, the night she fell . . .
The sentinel—a bloodied shell.
Remembers naught but hate and steel;
It clashes still, her hopes with steel,
Like moss that peeks from stony ground;
Yet memories lost, they never found.
Amidst the wreck she stands upon
She gazes on unflinchingly,
Convincingly, all feeling gone;
Thus, sun upon, she marches on.
Copyright ©
wray
... [
2005-01-06 09:19:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Guardian
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 6th January 2005 @ 09:36:43 AM AEST
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| I find this interesting, and picturesque. Must have been problematic to use "steel" twice in the same stanza. Hope she is successful in her guardianship. Cheers! |
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Re: The Guardian
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 9th January 2005 @ 07:14:46 PM AEST
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absolutely gorgeous!! hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: The Guardian
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Sunday, 9th January 2005 @ 10:03:40 PM AEST
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| I'm not entirely sure of the series of events/flow of time of this poem, but sonically, i absolutely love the rhyme and meter you offer here, end rhyme, internal rhyme, an almost rapping rhyme in parts, the words here flow wich such great music... a wonderful display of what you're best at... thank you, Butterat Zool. |
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Re: The Guardian
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 11th January 2005 @ 03:34:48 AM AEST
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| Glad to see you've still got it, been wondering where you were at. |
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Re: The Guardian
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 11:01:32 AM AEST
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| so diffrent from your ealtier stuff and yet, you've still got it!! |
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Re: The Guardian
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 09:33:19 AM AEST
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| I love the form and flow on this one...VERY well put together!!!! |
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Re: The Guardian
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Monday, 10th October 2005 @ 08:45:01 AM AEST
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Wow. What a poem. That's some defence mechanism. Must have been big time pain, terrible heartache. The loss of innocence, but not all eh? hope wells within, but who wants to be burnt like that again?
Yet, where others take up knife to wrist or cudgel to someone's head and spit venom on the page (like me), you instead create exhilarating high poetry, with symbols and metaphors skilfully woven and interwoven until my tendons sing. How could l have been so remiss in not reading this before? On this post alone, you are the real deal.
Spike |
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