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I want to be your California girl
Contributed by
Riot_Girl
on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 06:08:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I want to see you smile
I want to wipe away your tears
I want to hold you close
I want to conquer all your fears.
I want to take you to Great America
I want to watch your rush on Drop Zone
I want you to never again feel alone
I want us to drive for days
Through the mountains under the warm sun
I want us to feel
That our adventure has just begun
I want to hold you
On the cliffs of Monterey
I want to feel
That you are here to stay.
I want to walk though the snow
At Yosemite
and then look into your eyes
And kiss you so passionately
I want to watch you sleep
as I lie awake
and watch your chest rise and fall
With each breath that you take
I want to tell you that I love you
As much as you can stand to hear it
And I want you to know
That I truly mean it.
I want to be with you
Night and day
I want the sun to kiss our cheeks
As we over look the bay.
I want us to last forever
And forever again in a repetitive swirl
I want to be
Your California Girl.
Copyright ©
Riot_Girl
... [
2005-01-05 18:08:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I want to be your California girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 06:12:13 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I can relate to this TONS, watch your cliches in the first four lines though. Other than that it is very well written... thanks! |
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Re: I want to be your California girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on
Friday, 7th January 2005 @ 06:01:30 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Word usage is a bit odd in this one..The poem is alright..Not bad..Minor problems that bother me as to my background with English and what not..Other then that eh..It is alright |
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Re: I want to be your California girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Wednesday, 12th January 2005 @ 06:11:39 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| wow, this is such a romantic write! well done and i LOve ur word usage......brilliant........u r a good poet |
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