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Breaking Up on The Beach
Contributed by
Blackevar
on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 12:01:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
We were breaking up on the beach.
It was an icy blue night by the sea.
An endless crackle of infinity hung on the breath of each word.
Memories beginning as soon as the future had ended on this cold patch of sand.
The electricity of termination,
A full stop etched in the salty air,
We were now you and I, our interconnectedness eclipsed in separation,
Loving you in the past tense, something I did not something I do.
I watch you Leave for the last time,
I miss you,
Left with Memories that are instantly altered,
Not the way things happened, better or worse, more dramatic and sexed up,
The reality of you has been interspersed with Hollywood glitz,
Our first kiss is now a matinee,
The first time we made love now a soft focus blue movie,
This break up a shakesperian tragedy.
We broke up on the beach.
I walked home alone, meshing these false sensations into our life together,
Tomorrow I will drink deep from these memories,
Forgetting the monotony that caused the rift,
To regret and suffer takes effort and imagination,
You were the inspiration for my sorrow,
Goodbye I don’t need you any more.
Copyright ©
Blackevar
... [
2005-01-04 12:01:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Breaking Up on The Beach
(User Rating: 1 )
by breny on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 12:08:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very descriptive! It draws the reader to the beach with you. I like it alot
*Brenna* |
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Re: Breaking Up on The Beach
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 12:15:01 PM AEST
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| too wordy and verbose for me. I think you could have made your point without being so wordy. |
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Re: Breaking Up on The Beach
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 07:37:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this poem is facinating 2 say the least, lot of deep seated honesty, along with 2 the point anger, no ambiguity here, deffinately stirs the emotions . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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