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White Foam
Contributed by
nomadsoul
on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 02:45:13 AM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
White foams
Miles away, miles a-width
So beautiful you are
Loom the eastern shore
White foams
Brought forth by the mighty Neptune
There’s an aching smell of death
Here in the eastern shore
White foams
fifty feet tall,
Drowns me, defecates me
Beleaguers the eastern shore
Copyright ©
nomadsoul
... [
2005-01-04 02:45:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: White Foam
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 03:08:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Awwww. It's awful, isn't it?
I love the way you've started each stanza with the same thing each time. It's effective.
Great use of decriptive words.
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: White Foam
(User Rating: 1 )
by wray on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 03:58:07 AM AEST
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Oooooh. I love the phrasing. Somehow through your simple words my mind unconsciously brought up the image of wildly rolling grey waves on a cloudy day, crashing upon a deserted shore that stretches for miles into the distance..... (just came back from a beach trip hehe).
Beautiful poem. |
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Re: White Foam
(User Rating: 1 )
by Scarlett on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 05:10:44 AM AEST
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very effective, very sad.
nicely done x |
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Re: White Foam
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 07:43:37 AM AEST
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Devistation..................yet the sea and all its beauty can do many dangerous things, and then turn back to the appealing site in ones eyes.! Nice write...!
Brew~ |
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Re: White Foam
(User Rating: 1 )
by mina-1 on
Tuesday, 4th January 2005 @ 02:03:50 PM AEST
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| a very sad poem, but very effective and good phrasing. keep up the good work. |
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