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Contributed by
ravensfire
on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 04:42:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
I can see your lips moving but I can't hear your voice, All that I can understand is that my eyes are getting moist. I can feel the images dancing through my mind, The movement, The sound I can't find. Am I meant to be alone?, I can feel my heart, my soul quiver and moan. My blood I feel runs deep and cold, Your heart let me go of it's hold. For awhile my life was straight was true, The love I felt to me was new. The times together went by fast, The times apart how long they last. Can't you see I need your passion your touch?, It's not that I need you it's how much.
Copyright ©
ravensfire
... [
2005-01-03 16:42:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: None
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 04:51:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Awesome write! I really like it. I'm able to relate to it a lot. Great job. |
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Re: None
(User Rating: 1 )
by weepingprophet on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 05:56:31 PM AEST
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It is who we become that determines the leaving point. You said, "Your heart let me go of it's hold" i think that is a very precise description and accurate. Why is it always desire? Why can people not see the hearts that their letting go, the pain they will enflict. It is as though no one comprehends that their means will bring results greater than themselves. I am glad to see what you wrote in your description that you have found new hope. People cannot save other people, it is the strength that we draw from circumstance, from passion, that is what saves us. Your write had a beautiful edge of realism and an inexplicable flow to your words. Wonderful.
~Take my blade
wash it clean
pretend you know
just what i mean
when i tell you
you are priceless
keep that tear
it's not of me
maybe you will never see
this girl with scars is who i am
you're not changing her
when you hold my hand~weepingprophet |
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Re: None
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 08:22:59 PM AEST
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wow beautifully written.. it hurts when you lose one you love and still continue loving them.. i know this feeling well.. I hope you guys can get back or whatever it is you really want from the situation
this is a great write though
peace and hope
JENNI |
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Re: None
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanna on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 05:05:42 PM AEST
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I like the way you ended it. Nice job!
~T |
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Re: None
(User Rating: 1 )
by Solnubis on
Thursday, 6th January 2005 @ 10:11:32 AM AEST
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| This was beautiful Phillip, I like how you keep your style of writing. I can feel every word you write deep in my heart. You are a very sensitive, sensual man. I love how that shows in your work. I.A.C.A.Y. and know the feeling of needing and wanting someone in my life who makes me complete. I think I have found that. |
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