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Why I don’t “Just Need to Get Laid More.”
Contributed by
Blackevar
on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 05:51:09 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
We made love in her bedroom,
Wanting to kill each other doing the opposite,
Stressed and angry, trapped and frenetic,
Wildly trashing in a cramped bed,
A moment forgot to pass,
Snagged on an alignment,
Eternity and Oblivion,
Same time, same place,
Neither timed by Seiko,
Both tangible in the vacuum,
Joining a universal consciousness,
Atoms and molecules,
Shifted and changed,
***** and Gold,
All Matter,
One,
The Moment passed,
I tried to rationalise and articulate,
She was still cranky,
I was sleepy,
I slept confused,
I woke Confused,
I’ve ***** since,
Her and others,
Perfunctorily performing,
Mechanical motion,
In various states of cramp and detachment,
Still confused,
I was warned if I stared too long into the abyss it could stare back,
No-one mentioned it could wink,
That’s the ***** that ***** your head up.
Copyright ©
Blackevar
... [
2005-01-03 05:51:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Why I don’t “Just Need to Get Laid More.”
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 07:28:04 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Hmm i just comented on your forum about sexual poems, i guess i was to late lol. Anyways this is an interesting write, nice word usage. a great sexy poem.
Hugs,
Jane x |
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Re: Why I don’t “Just Need to Get Laid More.”
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 08:29:20 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Passion is the line that runs between love and hate I think...one small slide in either direction and you're screwed...so to speak
lol
Nicely done
Barkeep!! a drink for my friend
Larry |
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Re: Why I don’t “Just Need to Get Laid More.”
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyaryssa on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 03:09:24 PM AEST
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| One of the more original pieces kicking around here... Title was a bit misleading though, I thought you were gonna take moral high-ground stance. However, good stuff. |
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Re: Why I don’t “Just Need to Get Laid More.”
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 03:46:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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very original. i loved this verse a lot,
"I was warned if I stared too long into the abyss it could stare back,
No-one mentioned it could wink,
That’s the ***** that ***** your head up." your poems always leave me wondering what goes on in your head, or if i really want to know, lol.
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Re: Why I don’t “Just Need to Get Laid More.”
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 05:04:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I too like the winking verse.. |
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Re: Why I don’t “Just Need to Get Laid More.”
(User Rating: 1 )
by MissKittie on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 06:11:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I really enjoyed this, it was different and felt honest...I especially liked the lines:
she was still cranky
I was sleepy
I slept confused
I woke confused
Interesting poem.
MissKittie |
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Re: Why I don’t “Just Need to Get Laid More.”
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Friday, 1st April 2005 @ 05:05:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| It was okay, maybe I'm weird but this was weird to me. I understand though. |
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