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Lost
Contributed by
someone2004
on
Saturday, 1st January 2005 @ 09:18:15 AM in AEST
Topic:
drugabuse
|
Lost inside
Nowhere to hide
She's going nowhwere,
but wants to go somewhere
But it keeps pulling her in
Luring her to darker days
Making a path of darker ways
She wants stop but can't quit
She knows she should
She wishes she could
Sometimes she just wants to die
Free from the pain
Free from the shame
Copyright ©
someone2004
... [
2005-01-01 09:18:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lost
(User Rating: 1 )
by bonita2689 on
Saturday, 1st January 2005 @ 12:25:43 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Nice start but it seems as if there is more to say or that you need to make your ending a bit stronger, maybe try a powerful word or two at the end. Lovely all the same though... |
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Re: Lost
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whitelightning77 on
Saturday, 1st January 2005 @ 01:13:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Addictions are tough to get through, alone. write and keep it going
thanks for sharing |
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Re: Lost
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Sunday, 2nd January 2005 @ 12:21:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I agree, great start, but I think this has the potential to be even better. The end is kind of week. But you do have something here! You sum up addiction in a simple way. Try elaborating, you could have a masterpeice. |
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