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Crime Don't Pay
Contributed by
Fwog
on
Friday, 31st December 2004 @ 06:52:09 AM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
I did not hear the hiss of lead whistling past my ear
nor the harshly shouted words,"surrender end it here"
I felt the fiercely searing pain tearing through my heart
and gasped in realization as my world was torn apart
I felt the velvet warmth of darkness engulf me like a shroud
and drifted through a blood filled mist as if upon a cloud
Three men in suits bent over me guns smoking in their hands
detectives from the gangsta squad the finest in the land
From state to state I'd led these men upon a merry dance
robbing banks as on I ran, relying just on chance
These men of law relentlessly pursued me like a hound
and finally reward was theirs, they brought their prey to ground
These inner city alleyways which I'd once claimed as mine
now claimed me back into the fold and for the final time
The gathered faces stared in awe as my life flowed away
and from afar a voice I heard, "remember crime don't pay"
Copyright (c) 2004
Dallas Weller
Copyright ©
Fwog
... [
2004-12-31 06:52:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Crime Don't Pay
(User Rating: 1 )
by Blackevar on
Friday, 31st December 2004 @ 07:53:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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The writings really good stylistically but I don't know about the message, it would work better as a short story I feel.
I always believe crime does pay and should be done as often as possible.
Very well written though.
Cheers
Blackevar |
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Re: Crime Don't Pay
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Friday, 31st December 2004 @ 09:00:15 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Good write, great message, Dallas...
Happy to see you at it again....
Hugs and Happy New Year
Jenni |
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Re: Crime Don't Pay
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 10th January 2005 @ 12:17:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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breathtakingly haunting! i love your poetry so much dallas, my one wish is that you'd post more often, the world needs your voice:) big hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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