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Passion
Contributed by
ShadowDaughter
on
Tuesday, 28th December 2004 @ 10:40:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
she never
danced for them
perfect lotus feet;
her grandchildren always
looked away
leading her across the room
they never asked, so
she did not tell
how on younger nights
she, crippled,
becoming fragile and broken and (-perfect)
said to nothing,
"break them,
that I may be breakable."
and she did not add
that the nothing obliged.
so she
danced alone, sometimes-
not understanding how
it made her whole
in a way
she never had wanted to be----
(a good thing, as
there was nothing left
to break
in response)
Copyright ©
ShadowDaughter
... [
2004-12-28 22:40:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 28th December 2004 @ 10:53:30 PM AEST
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I always find something of personal meaning in your writes but often do not know whether your mind was turning the same way as mine when you wrote the piece...
in a way
she never had wanted to be----
... screams at me --- and hurts a bit (not a bit) to read. *sigh* Geez, Nora... you know? (yeh... I think you do)
Always impressed and ever interested -
SNM |
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Re: Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by smooshable on
Tuesday, 28th December 2004 @ 10:59:04 PM AEST
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| This poem created a certain eeriness. The feel is quite unique to any other I have read on this site. I felt little tingles down my spine brought on by the atmosphere created by the words. The bound feet metaphore is beautiful as well, I havn't seen that one used before. Even the structure is very individual. A very impresive poem indeed. |
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Re: Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Tuesday, 28th December 2004 @ 11:01:16 PM AEST
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you know i like it.
but hun you need a Title.. now i gave you many many good ideas for one. but nnooooo your impossible to impress.
now i could say that this poem sucks but see, i would only be saying that cuz i was jealous lol
and i dont want to admit to that so ill give it praise and um nice words ;)
its beautiful. gave me nice mind pictures. good words, sounded kind of painful, greatly writter...and blah blah blah. can i stop giving you a big head now?
well actually you do have a rather small head and giving you a bigger head would make you look more balanced out. but thats just my opinion.
so anyways... tital...Passion? ok like does it not scream The Passion as in like that *****ty movie ? no no no hon, you can do better.
so put on that cute little thinking hat of yours and start thinking bigger and better. or just listen to me :)
loved the poem. great work little chickan.
Love yas
*pats on back*
Becky |
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Re: Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Wednesday, 29th December 2004 @ 12:53:22 AM AEST
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Wow that was just wow. Ok first of all the title dosent work for me it could have been called "Devine Lotus" or something to do with Lotus lol. But honestly you wrote this so brilliantly im inlove with it.
Hugs,
Jane x |
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Re: Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Wednesday, 29th December 2004 @ 11:28:31 PM AEST
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i don't see anything about bound feet :S
and, as usual, i don't get it. meh. |
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Re: Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by EternitysLyre on
Friday, 31st December 2004 @ 06:43:48 PM AEST
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The execution was stellar as usual, but the topic...
Ugh. You have to wonder what the ancient Chinese were thinking when they decided that they liked women with little triagular soles and tender footsteps. How, for that matter, did you learn about this little idiosyncracy of many years before?
Now, as I would usually say. What's with the Oriental theme? it's not the first one you've done. |
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Re: Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 05:26:19 PM AEST
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I'm with Dee on this...I don't understand it...like, the flow and imagery was good...it's just so deep...really...I can't go that deep, I'll drown
The Godfather |
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Re: Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Scarlett on
Monday, 24th January 2005 @ 04:40:59 AM AEST
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delightful to read and i can sense that it is brilliant but unfortunately i don't get it either.
still pretty amazing though! x |
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Re: Passion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bleeding_Nightmares on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 11:06:27 PM AEST
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| Beautiful and with deep emotion, such vivid images. |
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