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Foregone Field
Contributed by
Ravensfire
on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 03:19:01 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Remember when at the age of nine or ten, Sleepy nights your bed a comfortable den. Rising early eating breakfast on the run, You couldn't wait to greet the sun. You ride your bike as fast as you can go, The wind on your face feels really cold. You slide to a stop you look across your field, The brightness on your face hands up as a shield. Stepping off your bike falling to the ground, Quietly standing there looking all around. The breeze across your face tossing your hair, You lay on the grass eyes up in the air. Hands behind your head gazing at a cloud, Trying to make shapes without a sound. Feels like forever laying on the grass, You just didn't notice the time pass. Across your field you hear your name, Your mom is calling you no ones to blame. You ride your bike home and toss your heard with a sigh, Its time to leave your field you never say goodbye.
Copyright ©
Ravensfire
... [
2004-12-27 15:19:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Foregone Field
(User Rating: 1 )
by Solnubis on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 05:50:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This was beautifully written. I could almost see myself in the fields. It is so true how time can pass you by without you noticing just where did it go. |
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Re: Foregone Field
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 29th December 2004 @ 04:05:11 PM AEST
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| this part is kind of awkward, "Sleepy nights your bed a comfortable den." i liked the ending. and i agree with sol. keep up the excellent writes, because i think you rhyme better than i do. =] |
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