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One tear silently falls
Contributed by
Ashley_07
on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 01:14:08 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
One tear silently falls
A thousand emotions overcome me
I can’t hold back any longer
I cry
I cry until there are no more tears
Until my eyes have run dry
All at once I feel love, hate, anger, sadness
Hitting like a train, hard and painfully
No one to talk to
No one who understands
My only means of expression are my tears and pencil
I feel so alone
As if I’m at the end of a long dark tunnel
I scream and scream
But no one hears me
Maybe if I keep screaming someone will hear
Someone who understands
Someone who can tell me what’s wrong and why I feel like I do
But there will never be someone
So I cry, Alone
Written by Ashley
December 20, 2004
Copyright ©
Ashley_07
... [
2004-12-27 13:14:08] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: One tear silently falls
(User Rating: 1 ) by TaintedSoul on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 01:50:35 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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The emotions are portrayed well here ... as for the format, freestyle is easier to write than following a set pattern. However I would break the lines up a bit, as such:
One tear silently falls
A thousand emotions overcome me
I can’t hold back any longer
I cry
I cry until there are no more tears
Until my eyes have run dry
All at once I feel love, hate, anger, sadness
Hitting like a train, hard and painfully
No one to talk to
No one who understands
My only means of expression are my tears and pencil
I feel so alone
As if I’m at the end of a long dark tunnel
I scream and scream
But no one hears me
Maybe if I keep screaming someone will hear
Someone who understands
Someone who can tell me what’s wrong and why I feel like I do
But there will never be someone
So I cry, Alone
Hope that helps with ideas
peace
TS |
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