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From Top to Bottom
Contributed by
saint858
on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 01:47:03 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
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Like a Weeping Willow in October
Browns, golds, and the shades of Autumn
Like two uncut Emeralds
They shine in the spirit of Sirius and Vega
LIke Eros guided the sculpture of Aphrodite
For it is her that stands at the Musee de Louvre
Like Sicilian figures on antique art
In her blood flows theirs
Like the skin borrowed from springtime blossoms
Softer than a slik pillow
Like the taste of sweet Syrah
I am intoxicated by her cocktail kiss
She is not beautiful
For beauty
Is her
She is not flawless
But perfection
Becomes
Tara
Copyright ©
saint858
... [
2004-12-27 01:47:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: From Top to Bottom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 01:52:50 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Aww! Awesome write. I'm sure she'd love it if you gave it to her! I wish someone wrote something so beautiful for me! lol Great write. |
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Re: From Top to Bottom
(User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 02:03:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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If I was to be honest, I'd say "OH MY GOD THIS WAS FREAKING AMAZING!!!!" so I might as well go with honest...OH MY GOD THIS WAS FREAKING AMAZING!!!!...the only thing I might change is from saying
She is not beautiful
For beauty
Is her
say
She is beautiful
For beauty
Is her
Not necessarily that, but speaking from past experiences, she might have a shallow moment and think you were calling her ugly or something...just a thought...I thought the poem over all was great...5 *'l all that!!! Great job
Mason
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Re: From Top to Bottom
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 02:35:10 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow great word usage, i like the way you used them to make such a beautiful poem. I think she's so lucky to have you write something this beautiful about her. I will agree on Mason's thought on the :
She is not beautiful
For beauty
Is her
To
She is beautiful
For beauty
Is her
Id go with that. Anyways great poem..
Hugs,
Jane x |
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Re: From Top to Bottom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stonedraider23 on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 02:56:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| great write i agree with what they all say but yea u betta give it to her b4 sum one else wins her heart or somethin but yea i like the she is not beautiful part i'd change it t like shes more then or sumthin i dunno good write tho |
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Re: From Top to Bottom
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dan666 on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 10:02:39 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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i agree with the beautiful bit to change great write she'll love it!
Dan666 |
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