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Switchblade Masquerade
Contributed by
eyesxcriedxout1989
on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 01:41:15 AM in AEST
Topic:
SongLyrics
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Verse 1
Sitting alone, bleeding
My heart a drone
To the echo of
A melody, long forgotten
My eyes, just slits
With my mouth, stitched
Holding the switchblade and eyeing my wrists
Chorus
Just keep crying
Holding so tightly to the blade
Just keep thinking
One more cut could make me hate her
But if God was a cutter
Then I would be his razor
Verse 2
Laying here alone
Just breathing
More like trying
Self surgery
I cut my heart out and watched it beat
Chorus
Just keep crying
Holding so tightly to the blade
Just keep thinking
One more cut could make me hate her
But if God was a cutter
Then I would be his razor
Bridge thing
So maybe I'll keep her
But I think I'll kill him,
So what should I do, dealer
Should I throw it all away again
So I don't have to deal with them
Chorus (2 times, first time soft but loud on second time)
Just keep crying
Holding so tightly to the blade
Just keep thinking
One more cut could make me hate her
But if God was a cutter
Then I would be his razor
Just keep crying
Holding so tightly to the blade
Just keep thinking
One more cut could make me hate her
But if God was a cutter
Then I would be his razor
Copyright ©
eyesxcriedxout1989
... [
2004-12-27 01:41:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Switchblade Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 01:44:51 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very powerful write. I like it a lot. Good work. |
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Re: Switchblade Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 02:13:28 AM AEST
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| wow this is so good well done!!! |
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Re: Switchblade Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 02:32:28 AM AEST
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Mason, this is brilliant. I love this very ohh so dramatic lol. Cant wait to read the next one.
Hugs,
Jane x |
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Re: Switchblade Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by saint858 on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 03:31:57 AM AEST
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| i really like this one dont change a thing. verse 1 is perfect; it really gets ones attention.check out my "exits revisited" write. Its along the same lines. tell me what you think. |
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Re: Switchblade Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 04:54:30 AM AEST
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Mason, I read through this three times looking for any thoughts of changes or suggestions I might add ... I came up with ... none. This is perfect as is. 5 stars here, my friend.
Nazzy ~
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Re: Switchblade Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by TaintedSoul on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 02:28:16 PM AEST
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The chorus really stands out verbally. The write, overall is emotionally deep and sad. The music I try to envision for the lyrics is mostly heavy metal/death metal.
peace
TS |
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Re: Switchblade Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by the_Ghost_Moth on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 06:58:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I read this first on Poetry Fiends!
Rock on, Mason.
--Ghosty |
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Re: Switchblade Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Saturday, 1st January 2005 @ 10:43:39 PM AEST
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...no heavy or death metal...just like emo-core sounding...yeah like that
Mason |
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Re: Switchblade Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by EVERxSOxSWEET on
Saturday, 8th January 2005 @ 05:01:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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woah mason..thats really good..you can write anything..you have serious talent man..good job :-d
- kaylee |
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Re: Switchblade Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 1st March 2005 @ 02:01:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I think you are a rather talented individual.
You are well expressed and utilise words within their contexts.
There is an absence of consistency with your rhyme scheme, yet, I assume that this was intentionally created for effect.
Thus its efficiency as a poem, a rather emotional poem, if you ask me.
“My eyes, just slits
With my mouth, stitched
Holding the switchblade and eyeing my wrists”
This section is mind blowing.
You have produced excellent imagery to justify your feelings.
“Self surgery
I cut my heart out and watched it beat”
I have no words for this piece, here, except heart wrenching.
Your chorus is very promising, including your metaphorical description, comparing yourself to a razor.
I can relate, very much to this piece, you have captured the very essence of a disease, most common to the western society. You were subtle and modest, and this has proudly won my respect.
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Re: Switchblade Masquerade
(User Rating: 1 )
by EmoDCgirl36 on
Friday, 22nd April 2005 @ 08:46:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Mason, you're really talented. Don't let it go to waste. |
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