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I'm the Advice Girl
Contributed by
ForgottenTear
on
Thursday, 23rd December 2004 @ 01:41:04 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
You ask me how i know it all
how i seem wise beyond my age
but really im just insecure and small
going through a simple stage
I solved one problem today
heartwrenching and suspenseful it was
but my acting was very well played
for I tainted myself for you just because
Hours later i solved another
holiday seasons only cause more chaos
for her relationship was in a clutter
but i helped her prevent a very big loss
I'm the advice girl
that hardly trusts
a heart like a pearl
which wont ever adjust
Copyright ©
ForgottenTear
... [
2004-12-23 01:41:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I'm the Advice Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by Loyalist on
Thursday, 23rd December 2004 @ 04:25:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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There are two things I would like to give my opinion on. First, I think this deserves more comments. I am sorry I was late to find this and make a comment of my own.
Second, this poem is too short, but before you take that as a negative comment it is good for it leaves the reader with a very to the point understanding of what is going on. It is bad, because I was waiting for more.
In short, IMHO, I should like to read another, longer draft, which gives more about the advice. I can understand if you don't as it may have been in that moment that you felt this and it may not require more. I hope you got what I was trying to say. Thanks for reading my opinion. |
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Re: I'm the Advice Girl
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 23rd December 2004 @ 04:33:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
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We all take turns dispensing advice. The older you get, the more people listen.
Here's some advice;
Keep writing. |
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