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OUR PREDESTINATION
Contributed by
GODSBESTIMAGE
on
Friday, 17th December 2004 @ 10:17:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Jesus knew we could not handle the temptation
So he had to come down to die for our salvation
He went through that horrible situation
Just to bring us back to our destination
We should show him our best appreciation
He did not have to go through that interrogation
He could have left us for totally damnation
But because the Father had a big infatuation
He gives us so much consideration
We need to stop all this procrastination
And listen to his perfect revelation
It is not a hard application
Some people have a lot determination
Some people just have a mental reservation
How can you not accept his invitation
No human can die and have a reincarnation
We all have a chance of his glorification
If we just stop all this separation
Gwendolyn Barden
Copyright ©2004 Gwendolyn M. Barden
Copyright ©
GODSBESTIMAGE
... [
2004-12-17 22:17:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: OUR PREDESTINATION
(User Rating: 1 )
by Yodo on
Friday, 17th December 2004 @ 11:17:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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... Yeah...
This was really forced. I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I just didn't like this poem. |
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Re: OUR PREDESTINATION
(User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on
Friday, 17th December 2004 @ 11:27:27 PM AEST
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you should at least have an idea about what your talking about before you write it down....
christs death is supposed to be a symbol of gods love.....it had nothing to do with our temptation....we still have temptation.....
yeah...your going to hell for this one...^_^
always
abraham |
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Re: OUR PREDESTINATION
(User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 12:17:57 AM AEST
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this is a great write with lots of rhyumes probably the only religious poem i like
Coz I love jesus the jew |
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Re: OUR PREDESTINATION
(User Rating: 1 )
by Yodo on
Sunday, 19th December 2004 @ 12:46:26 AM AEST
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I think anyone that does love Jesus should feel very ... concerned... about this poem. It doesn't make sense. Tribulation versus sanctification is silly. Those who are in the tribulation will be sanctified. Because sanctified simply means set apart.
His death was NOT an interogation. It was a freaking MURDER.
Saying that the Father's love is merely infatuation is an INSULT to God.
And the only reason any of it rhymed was because TION was put at the end of every word. In my opinion, the writer just thought of every word that rhymed with Revelation and decided to put it in.
I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just saying why I don't like it.
To improve, try branching out into different words. Not everything has to rhyme, you know. It seemed like you were trying to write a sonnet, but you were only concerned about the rhyme scheme.
To practice, just try writing a poem that has no rhyming at all. Just try to get a rhythm - something this poem certainly lacked. Once you've gotten a feel for rhythm, try a different rhyme sound every two lines. From there, you can branch off into better poems. I think you have the ability, you just need a little practice. :D |
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