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Over-articulated tenderness
Contributed by
ina
on
Thursday, 16th December 2004 @ 01:23:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Over-articulated tenderness
I don’t remember anymore, it’s been awhile
I feel a need for something else, a place to go
you don’t have to tell me yet,
decide in the morning with my palm against your knee
and my thighs swallowing your stomach.
Loved most of it, the first time around
but now I wash my eyes of it--
eyes swollen like a cupid’s fat thighs
without the wings to fly-- already burned off by the sun.
Wash them with my fingertips
to cleanse all my skin within.
If you leapt today I wouldn’t catch you
don’t know if I would have back then
lost in the red sea of barium enemas brown
and pregnancy tests three times a year.
You could have p*ssed in my hand and I would turn red
(or maybe, I wouldn’t turn away at all)
I feel the need
for something else, now
a place to go.
You played games with me
like a girl dressed in hazy comfort smoke.
I’m not the only one, just the only one writing back to you
and if this was something of substance, anything at
all
I would be by your side
if only
to see something I haven’t before
maybe a heart that could paint my eyes,
maybe you’d be the girl with layers,
layers of lips,
layers of sheets,
orgasmic love
layered love
layer upon layer
upon layer.
Remember I said, when things go wrong,
I promised you I’d give you some kind of reason,
---this is it.
Catch a glimpse with a your cranberry mirror
and tell me
before you lose everything.
***
did you see this coming?
Or did you wash your eyes of this,
of me, already?
Copyright ©
ina
... [
2004-12-16 13:23:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Over-articulated tenderness
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Thursday, 16th December 2004 @ 04:27:49 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Hell yes
I loved the title, over articulated tenderness. Wow, that reminds me of my life. Crazy. It's something I would write. As far as the poem, it sounds like a great letter, a great conversation. Poetic letters are my favorites, because they can directly talk about something, only in more imaginative ways with crazy metaphores, or the use of intense one liners that carry strong feelings.
If you leapt today I wouldn’t catch you
don’t know if I would have back then
lost in the red sea of barium enemas brown
and pregnancy tests three times a year.
You could have p*ssed in my hand and I would turn red
(or maybe, I wouldn’t turn away at all)
I feel the need
for something else, now
a place to go.
Yeah, see this felt like it was very direct, but it's still a poem.
The ending of the poem was my favorite. I'd have to highlight a huge part of it, so I'll just leave that one out. Amazing though.
Catch a glimpse with a your cranberry mirror
and tell me
before you lose everything.
***
did you see this coming?
Or did you wash your eyes of this,
of me, already?
wow, I relate to that on a very personal level. I'm sure that the way you relate to it is totally different, and unrelated.....but still.....The way the events have unfolded within the last 6 months of my life could be discribed in these last lines.
As always, I love the way you write
Be True,
zenmind |
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Re: Over-articulated tenderness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 5th January 2005 @ 12:54:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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did you see this coming?
Or did you wash your eyes of this,
of me, already?
Another powerful write- you are unique and interesting to read, anfd you seem to be this overdrive version of everything that lives in the rest of us with no voice.
Potent....Indeed.
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Re: Over-articulated tenderness
(User Rating: 1 )
by reilt on
Tuesday, 18th January 2005 @ 01:14:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| another truly fantastic write so raw and so real. |
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