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Going Down Smooth
Contributed by
spike
on
Tuesday, 14th December 2004 @ 08:28:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
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So easy to cross convention’s line,
To slip a little further down
Desire as heady as any wine,
The slow descent without a sound.
The downward path propels you on,
A slippery slope to god knows where
The guiding lamp that brightly shone,
Extinguishes to black despair.
No simple caution to take heed,
Except the nagging inner voice
Against the shouts of darkest need,
I felt that I had little choice.
No signs of warning posted here,
The quicksand draws me ever deep
No helping hands to pull me clear,
I doubt if anyone will weep.
A slip or two was all it took,
Pulled down into the sucking mire
All the good that I forsook,
To choke on what was once desire.
Copyright ©
spike
... [
2004-12-14 20:28:30] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Going Down Smooth
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 14th December 2004 @ 08:32:11 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is a great poem! Sometimes needs do conflict with what we feel we should be doing.
Cheers! |
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Re: Going Down Smooth
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 15th December 2004 @ 02:09:37 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow! spike this is top drawer!
Johnny. |
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Re: Going Down Smooth
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 21st December 2004 @ 04:19:59 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very clever! and very well done!!!! |
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Re: Going Down Smooth
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 21st December 2004 @ 07:22:03 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow spike! Tell it like it is!
This was excellently written.
The guiding lamp that brightly shone,
Extinguishes to deep despair
Boy do I relate! You have a way of capturing feelings I thought were
unique to my existence. Well done, spike!
~Breezy |
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Re: Going Down Smooth
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Friday, 31st December 2004 @ 11:30:38 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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An excellent description of how easy it is to go too far. Enjoyed the rhyme as well. Thumbs up! |
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Re: Going Down Smooth
(User Rating: 1 ) by DreamWeaver on
Tuesday, 8th March 2005 @ 06:15:33 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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R&R perfect, words even more perfect ... a truly well written poem ... and love the title as well ... Jan |
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