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Thank you Mother
Contributed by
zenmind
on
Tuesday, 14th December 2004 @ 05:45:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
However many lies told from a mother to her son are uncountable.
A guess would only give rise to more questions.
How many years has it been since you showed me your true face, Mother?
How many fears have you held tightly to your breast?
Am I one of them?
I remember as a child, you held me closely,
but I didn't realize that it was you, Mother, who
suffocated me at night, clutched
by your soft fingers around my neck.
I didn't realize, Mother, that your grave
has my initials carved in it, with my blood.
Mother, you were always so sweet to me,
laughing whenever my feet would get cold at night.
Thank you for cutting them off.
Now I am never cold.
Mother, how can I ever repay you?
Your kindness has made me bleed.
How can I make you bleed?
I can wash the dishes for you,
scrape the food off the plates,
and feed you my knife for desert.
Don't worry. I'll use a butter knife.
It will make it easier to spread your
liver across your spine.
Thank you Mother.
Copyright ©
zenmind
... [
2004-12-14 17:45:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Thank you Mother
(User Rating: 1 )
by neveryours on
Tuesday, 14th December 2004 @ 05:56:20 PM AEST
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A little morbid. It feels like you are trying to impress your reader - or shock them - you have some good words here, use them! As I read your stuff, I see you are capable of more.
Look forward to reading it! |
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Re: Thank you Mother
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Tuesday, 14th December 2004 @ 05:56:26 PM AEST
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Wow !!! I can kinda relate to your opening statement. I have a very good relationship with my mother as well ... but one would never guess that if they read the first three Blood Flower entries. The images here are strong and powerful and uh, just a bit disturbing ... Delicious, I'll have some liver !!!
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: Thank you Mother
(User Rating: 1 )
by wray on
Wednesday, 15th December 2004 @ 10:45:56 AM AEST
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| Mm either your relationship with your mother isn't as healthy as you think it is or it's so healthy that your subconscious feels that something's lacking... so it came up with this. Haha I like the feet cutting off part: "Thank you for cutting them off. Now I am never cold." Lovely to read ;) |
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Re: Thank you Mother
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ina on
Sunday, 19th December 2004 @ 09:37:21 PM AEST
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Ok. Honestly?
I didnt like the poem. There is maybe one image that I retained fomr this whole poem. As I havent been online for a while I was looking forward to your poetry. I think this was unnecessarily morbid. Somtimes in movies (Jacobs Ladder) they put in nudity in the most obscure places for thrills sake. this felt like that. Fake, ya know?
"feed you my knife for desert?"
babe come on.
I hope you can take the criticism. ;)
onto more of your poems! |
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