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The clock
Contributed by
Loopylou
on
Tuesday, 14th December 2004 @ 03:23:42 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
The clock ticks and chimes
as my life slowly and painfully passes by....
I felt my hands shaking
as i brought them up to my face
ive done this to many times
i need a rest
my eyes are red
and they begged to be closed
reality please let me go
everyday waking up is just that little more painful
as i become a little more numb
as my legs fall weak
and i have nowhere to run
failure and nothingness
just float inside
loneliness and bitterness over take my cries
why cant you understand?
i just want somone to hug me
but nobody notices how i grip so tight
as i wish for an anti depresant on life....
Copyright ©
Loopylou
... [
2004-12-14 15:23:42] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The clock
(User Rating: 1 ) by Ada on
Tuesday, 14th December 2004 @ 03:32:48 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Your poem started out good but the end of the poem destroyed its essence... And also, mind your spelling. Don't take my comments badly... Just improve...
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Re: The clock
(User Rating: 1 ) by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Tuesday, 14th December 2004 @ 07:19:36 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow, this is great.. well done!!! |
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