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The Beauty Of you
Contributed by
wordpoet
on
Wednesday, 27th November 2002 @ 07:40:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Like a child, I learn to walk again for the first time, my broken heart on infant legs,
Staggering uncontrollably each moment until I fall and once again for you my heart it begs.
My mind is filled with thoughts of you as desperately I try to forget what is real,
Such pleasure mixed with pain lies within and creates the intoxicating longing and despair that I feel.
I am scarred by desire and left bleeding to no end, all for the sake of wanting you.
Yes you, the one prize more precious than life itself, and yet you never knew,
As I myself, even now know not the extent of it. Yet such depths and heights would I scale for your love,
That no man could measure the length or breadth of it, to reach beyond the heavens above.
And all for the sake of just one smile, a glance, a sign of interest that steals my breath away,
A gentle touch or do I dare, a kiss even, bringing meaning to my life like light to the day.
Such things grant me the strength to continue on, breathing the breath of life into hope,
And giving glad purpose to the beating of my heart, so that in all I must face I may cope.
But alas your heart is nowhere to be found, in all the heights or depths, or beyond the heavens above,
And the dove set free, once free has not returned, no place of refuge found, no cradle for my love.
My mountains are brought low and the sea engulfs me in its salty waters of lost dreams,
My last breath is stolen from my lungs, the light of life has dimmed so that I am lost or so it seems.
But still I see the reflection upon the surface of the water that is you and I am drawn to it,
Like a flower in the spring that reaches for the sun, I strive towards you but I must admit,
I am desperate now, flailing, for I know my time is nearly over, I reach for you but you don’t reach back,
And the final image my mind will envision is that of your beauty as slowly my world turns black.
By: Doug Morton
http://wordpoet.tripod.com
Copyright ©
wordpoet
... [
2002-11-27 19:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Beauty Of you
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Wednesday, 27th November 2002 @ 11:21:23 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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WOW!!! Doug, you have outdone yourself!! This is absolutely beautiful and so well written. I'd say you have achieved your goal..
Keep them coming..
Jenni |
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Re: The Beauty Of you
(User Rating: 1 )
by OreO on
Thursday, 28th November 2002 @ 01:27:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is probably one of the more
beautiful poems i've read..I enjoyed
this so much, and the visions you
have given are so unique and beautiful
This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing this
one it put a smile on my face
.::´¯`·..· OreO·..·´¯`::. |
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Re: The Beauty Of you
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Thursday, 28th November 2002 @ 05:11:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Ok .. you asked for honest criticism ... and you know that I am a very big fan of your poetry, so this is a very honest impression. I really felt that the lines were too long, and I felt myself reaching for the rhyme almost .... although the words and feelings were beautiful .... I was finding myself trying more to reach the end of the line as it was a little long.
Your past poems have been more perfect in their length of lines and rhythm and rhyming ... if that is what you are striving for. I know you said you are aiming for a different way of writing .... just my impressions ... that is all. I believe that shorter lines and spreading out the verses helps the reader somewhat.
Hope this helps ... and am not putting down your writing in any way .... you are a very great talent.
Jan. |
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Re: The Beauty Of you
(User Rating: 1 )
by WordPoet on
Thursday, 28th November 2002 @ 09:52:58 AM AEST
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Jan...
Thank-you for your honesty. I have a very close friend who has made a similar comment to yours and so I hope you don't feel alone in this assertation. It's true that the lines are long and the flow quite different from the standard used in todays style of writing. The method used for reading it is quite different from the way other peotry is read and without having heard it before it becomes quite difficult to follow the flow.
Don't worry however as my peotry will not be like this constantly and so I hope you do not lose faith in my writing. Actually I was considering moving this type of poetic literature to my journals.
If you get the chance, I would suggest a movie called "Cyreno de Bergerac" 1950 version with Jose Ferrer. The poetry in this movie is the kind of literature I was striving for. The lines are long and there is no rhyming to them but the way it is done is such that the words themselves become the focus of attention and the way they are spoken is beautiful and eloquent.
With that said, thank-you. It always nice to see someone unafraid to place an honest opinion on my work. It is well appreciated. |
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Re: The Beauty Of you
(User Rating: 1 )
by R.G.Love on
Thursday, 28th November 2002 @ 06:12:53 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Simply, another great poem!!! |
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