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The Disappearing
Contributed by
Rae
on
Monday, 13th December 2004 @ 02:29:37 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
tire tracks painted the pavement,
telling me that you were here.
i bend to the floor and
kissed the ground,
to feel you at least.
my blood has stopped flowing,
your spine is still on the barb-wired fence.
i could just weep, thinking of you.
a sudden loneliness,
a temporary happiness.
for a minute,
i would look at the blinding sun,
and your hair would fall on your eyes,
a curtain to a blue window.
i missed you.
i look at the driver of every car that passes by,
hoping you'd take the road to my house.
i refuse looking at bouquets of daisies
for it stabs my heart and
i bleed on the spot.
i wanted to paint a picture of
sunny days,
careless ways.
but i fell asleep.
-rae '04.
11:20 am. 113004. tues.
Copyright ©
Rae
... [
2004-12-13 14:29:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Disappearing
(User Rating: 1 )
by Black_Rose on
Monday, 13th December 2004 @ 02:36:15 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I haven't been a member of this sight for long, but I can honestly say that this is one of the best poems I've read here so far. Think about trying to get it published. I think my favorite part was the imagery you used, and the fact that you made the reader guess a little bit at your meaning instead of just plainly stating it. |
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Re: The Disappearing
(User Rating: 1 )
by positivelypurple on
Tuesday, 14th December 2004 @ 03:27:58 AM AEST
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I agree...the imagery you used was amazing! It was like I was there!! Wonderful piece - thanks for sharing.
-Laurel |
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