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The Dreamer
Contributed by
Ada
on
Sunday, 12th December 2004 @ 05:51:05 AM in AEST
Topic:
SecretLove
|
From far away I watch my ever dear
Her every gesture quite amazes me
My words of love when will she ever hear?
A dreamer I’ll remain forever be
Her heart has long been locked and free of fear
She has a man who tightly holds the key
I tried so many times but I feel queer
Mere sight of her makes me so shivery
My heart just trembles so each time she’s near
Oh when will I hold her so tenderly?
Each night shall I forever shed a tear?
Is it a fault to love infinitely?
My heart has made my mind so much unclear
But forever a dreamer I shall be
Copyright ©
Ada
... [
2004-12-12 05:51:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Dreamer
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mesano on
Sunday, 12th December 2004 @ 06:41:57 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| very nice poem... i felt lots of emotion... keep up the good work |
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Re: The Dreamer
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 12th December 2004 @ 07:06:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
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a very good write, great expression
pixie xx |
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Re: The Dreamer
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Monday, 13th December 2004 @ 01:53:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Hi Ada, a good start for a first posting, and a lovely theme of hidden love, too nervous to follow through. Sometimes the imagination is more attractive and safer than the reality of a relationship in the flesh, so to speak. I used a similar theme in the senses also dream.
Post a few more, just so you get some practice under your belt, and if you want me to then really critique this or another poem, I'll do so in a private message. It is never easy listening to someone's suggestions, but I've had it done and it is a real benefit.
Welcome to PDoT.Com. Being on this site has led to me write a lot of poems I probably wouldnt have written. I'm sure it will be the same for you.
cheers,
Spike
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Re: The Dreamer
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stonedraider23 on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 08:28:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| good write... i still dont think mine r that good so yea if u can check out my others thatd be grrrrrreat well keep it up ima check ur other ones out |
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Re: The Dreamer
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 11:38:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Great write. I think I've been that guy a time or two.
:) |
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