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good bad
Contributed by
briefcircle
on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 10:00:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Whats good and whats bad...the question plagues my mind....what should I carry on in the future, what should I leave behind.....whats real and whats fake...what will you realize if you just grow...? What have you learned so far in life, and what will you ever know...Am I right, are you wrong?? I want to know who tells the truth....what nurtures, what depletes, what will I ever teach my youth. How do I fail and whats success....what makes me grow inside your eyes....what if I’m that much more enlightened? What if you never realize? What if youve crossed that line from genius, and now we think that your insane.....but it all makes sense to you, we just cant get inside your brain. What is love and what is hate?? Maybe they’re not the same to you......but we cant have one without the other, pack up your bags if its taboo...
Copyright ©
briefcircle
... [
2004-12-09 22:00:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: good bad
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 10:11:26 PM AEST
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well i wish this was formatted. i read essays, write essays, read books, and try to write books all the time. format like this just makes me think its an essay or a book, not a poem. the elipses make it seem less so, but having elipses just for that purpose ruins the use of them.
there is no good and bad because its strickly perspective. what is right to one is wrong to another. opinions arent facts, they dont matter and dont exist to me. or i try to not let them be that way. |
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Re: good bad
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 20th December 2004 @ 06:08:57 PM AEST
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I like this piece and the question it asks. It is meaningful, and I identify. But, like 9, I think this would much better be in poetry than prose. I think it would not be hard, for the lines suggest themselves in the text. Lines would flow better, and this piece needs flow to achieve its potential.
Good work.
Andrew |
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