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A Turning Point
Contributed by
vanessamay
on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 02:20:03 AM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
I want you here
With me, by my side
I would not fear
Of losing my pride
For I would be strong
Strong as an ox
And be able to sing
As now, I am free from my box
For once I was trapped
Wanting to hide
Feelings and emotions
Bottled up inside
I did not want love
I did not want pain
So what did I want?
Was I insane?
For it was me who was so distressed
Why could I not perform to my best?
No longer could I bare
The thought of me not to care
So there I was
Seeking for help
Would anyone understand
Why my life was so damned
At last I found someone
But why were they so hard to find?
For they were there with me
Every step, so close behind
It was due to my weakness
That I could see less
For this I am sad
For I did not see sooner
What I was turning into was bad
Some kind of luna
Tic! goes the clock
I realise my fate
I have to change quick
Before it's too late
Copyright ©
vanessamay
... [
2004-12-09 02:20:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Turning Point
(User Rating: 1 )
by slayer_015 on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 04:38:06 AM AEST
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a Message)
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You have got the rhyming part down.It is a good poem.I don't think you need to improve much.We each have a diferent voice when it comes to poetry,and I think you found yours.Great job!!!
Brian |
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Re: A Turning Point
(User Rating: 1 )
by Remi on
Thursday, 9th December 2004 @ 10:47:24 AM AEST
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| i don't think u need that much improvement and i can't rhym for the sake of my life u have ur own style every writer should great job |
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Re: A Turning Point
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 27th December 2004 @ 02:52:24 AM AEST
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| Good poem. I agree with the other comments. Stick with your style of writing. It's your own. :-) |
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