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The Mask
Contributed by
Mallard8
on
Tuesday, 7th December 2004 @ 09:47:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
This dirty, disgraceful and hideously ugly mask that you wear
Why do you hide your beautiful face?
You hide it from me, and only me, I watch as you pull it off for others
Why do you share something with others that I would gladly with you?
I would have done anything for you, ANYTHING
Now as I am consumed with hate for you, I die inside
For hate will eat away at you until there is nothing left but itself
Why do I desire this so much, I desire an overpowering hate for you
I remember… the time that you dropped me
The time I was in need and all you could do was push me farther down
Why do you do this???
Relish in the destruction of my life? Love, does not equal hate
Why have you sent this heinous gift to me?
It consumes me… only for you though
As you grow older, the hate grows more and consumes me
Every second counts, for another space of hate
I begin to see happiness… only to have it ripped away from me
By who?? Who would do this atrocious crime!!
Only I gaze down, and realize
Who else would enjoy seeing my writhing in pain on the ground
IT WAS YOU! How could I doubt your endless grip on me
I look at you and fall again
I look away and tears feel my eyes for I know I can never have such a beautiful girl
I leave, for I know what I must do…
Why must it end as this? Always this deep feeling
I grip the knife in my hand, and I look at it
This is not enough, not enough pain for the anguish and love I contain for you
I look to the rear of my room and my eyes set on my ROPE OF TRUTH
The rope that you had made for me
INSPARATION! I now fully understand the use for this
As I tie the knot to the ceiling I glance at my work and realize it is not painful enough still
I spread the gasoline plenty around my room
As I wrap the knot around my head, I know what I must do
As the tears stream down my face, I see the truth
You, in my dreams the only way I can ever have it
I pull the match from my blood caked hands
While I light this beacon of truth, I can only see your face
I drop it, my room finally fills with flame!
I kick the box out from under me, and feel the flames lick my feet
As they climb up my legs I can only think about you
I wish to cry unto you one last time
For you to love me, or for you to hold me one last time
I can only dream about you as I drift in and out of conciseness
Whether ultimately the fire or the rope killed me I know not
I only know that I found the truth
I found, happiness
Something I haven’t seen for all my life on that damned world
I found this through the separation of body and soul
Only now I can only dream of the pain,
For I dream of the pain so I don’t have to feel the love for you
As the love leaves, I feel the freedom
I feel the freedom from your damning life, from you and the dramatic *****ing of you.
As I sit and contemplate you… you walk into and unto me
You ask for forgiveness, I gladly give it to you
Only, you cannot have what you destroyed in me
I have lost that forever, and for that you will not know of the undying hate that has replaced love for you and for all.
Copyright ©
Mallard8
... [
2004-12-07 21:47:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Mask
(User Rating: 1 )
by ButchCorpuz on
Wednesday, 8th December 2004 @ 11:23:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This poem really reflects how much you are struggling against yourself as well as struggling against others. Good poem. I hope you get to overcome whatever it is that's bothering you.
-Butch |
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Re: The Mask
(User Rating: 1 )
by Atari on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 09:56:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This really truely shows how much pain she's caused you! I'm sorry you had to go through that! I've been through it countless times. Exept I've tried it all but burning. I'm much better now that i'm far away from those thoughts and with my current boyfriend who gives me wonderful thoughts of happyness. I've been there man! What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger! Stay strong! I'm here for ya' as may plenty of other people. Talk to them they can help!
lata,
Ariane |
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