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Nonchalance
Contributed by
emphaticplacebo
on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 10:43:12 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
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Wicker baskets holding my feelings affray
Brittle and fragile with every day that passes
Corrupted thoughts. They all have to go!
Indeterminate anger. Music for the masses
I reflect on a life full of disdain and resentment
Only to realise where this existence went awry
Looking at what I hated about the world today
Only to make it apart of me, to somewhat apply
Unstable loads of emotion stagger dangerously
Pushing me closer and closer to the cutting edge
Making the proposal of a shotgun suicide alluring
Rendering a rooftop leap possible off life’s ledge
Misplaced affections lead this despondent life astray
Placing faith into sinking vessels of window dressing
Indifference, the namesake to all love made unwanted
Denied, making the outlook on life all too depressing
Inside, I’d prefer not to die with my head held high
Encompassing the coming sunsets’ warm embrace
I’d rather in a noose, as I hang unsteadily from the beam
Swingling limply with a nonchalant look on my face
Copyright ©
emphaticplacebo
... [
2004-12-05 10:43:12] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Nonchalance
(User Rating: 1 ) by pixie on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 10:51:35 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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deeply written, a powerful display of emotions
pixie xx |
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Re: Nonchalance
(User Rating: 1 ) by co_cane13 on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 11:12:23 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow, so full of emotion and so descriptive. it made me feel the depression, the lack of self want... preservation. tell me does the end mean to die with no dignity, and the nonchalant look, do you mean to make death seem less extravagant, to take away its luster that the poem was leading it to be. to show that you know that death is not a pleasureful release but an envitable conclusion to your emotions |
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Re: Nonchalance
(User Rating: 1 ) by cuddlytiger17 on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 11:32:17 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow, this is so powerful. The imagery is, for lack of a better word, amazing.
"Misplaced affections lead this despondent life astray"
And the ending, I mean there's not much that can be said. It's a perfect ending for this poem, but hopefully not for your life. Stay strong and keep writing, you're truly talented. |
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Re: Nonchalance
(User Rating: 1 ) by autumngreeneyes on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 12:21:15 PM AEST (User
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I’d rather in a noose, as I hang unsteadily from the beam
Swingling limply with a nonchalant look on my face
No one who hangs is left looking nonchalant..they mess their pants, their eyes bulge..it's a very messy business. Please...do more research LOL. but a really nice write. I suggest you read and watch " In Cold blood" by Truman Copote..if you haven't already... |
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Re: Nonchalance
(User Rating: 1 ) by faffeee on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 05:50:25 PM AEST (User
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wow :) that was an amazing write. very sad though. i loved this line -
"Rendering a rooftop leap possible off life’s ledge"
dont leave us in such a sad way...:) katie xx
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Re: Nonchalance
(User Rating: 1 ) by bobotheclown on
Monday, 5th September 2005 @ 08:53:47 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Dude! I think this was my favourite poem of
yours that I have read so far. I thought the
poem couldn't get any better, but the ending
shattered any preconceived notions that I
thought I had.
"Inside, I’d prefer not to die with my head held high
Encompassing the coming sunsets’ warm embrace
I’d rather in a noose, as I hang unsteadily from the beam
Swingling limply with a nonchalant look on my face"
How can anyone not love that? Oh by the way
I liked the rhyme scheme as well.
Bobo (Joel) |
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