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An Attempt at Progress

Contributed by ecly on Wednesday, 1st December 2004 @ 12:44:59 AM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems

Cutting air with silence bred to kill,
December all alone, I've had my only fill.
A repeat song and movie gray with old,
You're so happy now, or so I'm bluntly told.
A sharpened breath and nothing but goodbye,
Tell you my life's good, all I do is lie.
And lay in bed to see life from a mile,
Because it makes the difference, just to see you smile.
But the waning moon reflects my only truth,
To die or disappear, to end eternal youth.
October nights have left my open eyes,
November gloom has broken my last ties.
It's time I told December, its cold brings goodbyes,
An end to dark facade, an end to all the lies.

Copyright © ecly ... [ 2004-12-01 00:44:59]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: An Attempt at Progress (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 01:51:30 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I admire the fashion in which you arrange your words... although gentle, they still posses much power.
"Gray with old"... an interesting description... which produced vivid imagery...
"A sharpened breath" ... almost as if you have personified 'breath' -intriguing and original.
I feel that this poem is indeed symbolical and the ties to specific months and nature (moon) are well attached to your life.
An excellent muse!

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