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Embers of a Once Life
Contributed by
black13
on
Tuesday, 30th November 2004 @ 05:57:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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Five tears I cried
on the day all hope died.
Though I
feel so weak inside
still I refuse to submit.
Love is all I need
but the one thing I deprive.
Is it choice
or something that has died.
My world has turned to slow falling ash
hidding the path I walk.
Silence fills my ears
sending chills through my heart.
Now it seems
I'm the only thing that binds
broken in my mind.
I hear
myself screaming
but no one else can see
me drowning here today.
It's so cold outside
but so much worse inside.
Never wanted to be this cold.
The fire in my heart and eyes
flicker lowq to coals.
Final day a swan song is sung within.
Copyright ©
black13
... [
2004-11-30 17:57:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by daydreamer22 on
Tuesday, 30th November 2004 @ 06:07:32 PM AEST
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i really like ur poetry too bad u say its ur last...good job...
Awaiting your next....if there ever is a next..
~*ME*~ |
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by namesaretaken on
Tuesday, 30th November 2004 @ 06:09:31 PM AEST
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I really liked the subject matter cool stuff to bad its you last
my fav line were
or something that has died.
My world has turned to slow falling ash
hidding the path I walk.
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Tuesday, 30th November 2004 @ 06:10:32 PM AEST
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Well, we'll miss you my friend. Heck, we already do. I'm not sure what to say about this. Maybe I'll have to come back to it. An announcement like that always overshadows the write. Would still like to hear from you sometime. Still pray for you.
Thanks for being part of my life for a while.
I can still smile when I think of you.
Stitch |
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Tuesday, 30th November 2004 @ 06:29:47 PM AEST
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Jase...you can't do this!!! make an announcement like this and leave? No way....
Your poetry is way too good. Hope you were just kidding..
Hugs
Jenni |
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gothchyk on
Tuesday, 30th November 2004 @ 07:34:22 PM AEST
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Your poetry is awesome. I really liked the lines Now it seems I'm the only thing that binds broken in my mind...
But all I can say is that I hope you have a really good reason for leaving, cuz I know that I'll miss your talent.
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Tuesday, 30th November 2004 @ 08:08:02 PM AEST
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Now it seems
I'm the only thing that binds
broken in my mind.
I hear
myself screaming
but no one else can see
me drowning here today.
I think you're wrong. the number of comments shows that.. My announcement got one comment from NaZ.. So I stayed to spite everyone LOL. You are a wonderful poet..this work is beautiful as is just this line.. it captures how I feel now. If I were to leave no one would know. at least you have five or six people to say something. If you knew why Naz mentioned it..well I'd rather not say..
I'm not loved for my poetry..but he is a good friend..and at least I have one. Why do we do this to ourselves..don't we have enough enemies on the outside??? |
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 1st December 2004 @ 05:32:44 AM AEST
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wow that was amzzingly written Black13, your poems are always so emotional and deep, shame this is the last one you will be posting,
pixie xx |
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Wednesday, 1st December 2004 @ 10:32:28 AM AEST
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Oh jeff...
Must you leave? Really?
Well, I'll miss you and I'm not just saying that, I know I'm not the only one, I know several other people that will too, not to mention the rest of YPDC.
I'm here if you need me, stay in touch, K?
*hugs*
Phil xxx
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Saturday, 4th December 2004 @ 10:10:00 AM AEST
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May brighter tomorrows come your way.
in memoriam, amice-
Nora |
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Saturday, 4th December 2004 @ 11:40:48 AM AEST
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Just came back to this and read the poem fully --not just scanning after seeing the author's note-- and all the comments. It's as hollowly beautiful as all the might have, should have beens. There's nothing I can say, and if I could it would mean nothing to me, you, anyone.
Stitch summed everything up as I've been struggling to and trying to for so long-- thank you for being part of my life for a while. For everything.
Said just once before, here again-
Bless, Jeff. And Jeffrey . . . different.
smiles, one last hug, black daisies, (and no apologies, from anyone, for anything,)
Nora
P.S. Thanks for being enough to be in Offwhite. |
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Friday, 10th December 2004 @ 11:47:38 PM AEST
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jeffers.... you were more to me than you will ever know. and you knew me. you understood. that little fact alone is bigger than most anything i've ever held in my life for any amount of time. you chose to push me away. i could never understand you completely, but i did understand. you told me so. and you, my dear jeffamina, speak the truth like few people in this world. for all the joy and pain you've caused me in what seems like such a ridiculously short time, and despite how much i hate you for stepping out of my life, i love you as much as i can. if you ever want to, please drop a line. you have my email. i don't expect you to, ever, but i would be happy if you ever did, even years down the line.
i meant every word i've ever said. and the poems say it all, everything i could never tell you. i hope with all the hope i can muster that someday, preferably soon (whenever that is), you find what it is that you're missing.
thank you. there's no other way to say it. i will always cherish your poetry, as it spoke to my soul like few others'. how often have i said it seemed like you were inside my mind? i'd say it on every single poem if i didn't want to be horribly repetitive. you got me like no one else. and i miss that. i hate you and i love you. and you know i don't say that lightly and i know you know what i mean.
may your soul find a better place to stay. maybe i'll see you there someday.
dee |
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 13th December 2004 @ 09:44:06 AM AEST
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| I really enjoyed the depth that you expressed in this - and while I hope that it is not your last here, I will say that it was written with a sadness and conviction that made it quite powerful . |
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Friday, 17th December 2004 @ 06:50:21 PM AEST
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You... shook me.... with the note at the top. I had to start over at the top of the piece at least three or four times because I kept getting distracted by that... note. Even now, after finally make it through to the end of the piece - I'm not sure that I've fully absorbed it.
But... I understood enough to say - this... hell - I don't know what to say.... I hate the note, I hate the message of this write, and I wish like hell you didn't feel the need to write it. Seriously. Realizing I'm a heartbeat away from spewing horrid cliches - I think I'll leave it at that hope you know that I do mean it.
Be well. And please - reconsider.
SNM
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Monday, 3rd January 2005 @ 12:51:25 AM AEST
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my god man this just tore me apart inside. I
am left speechless... this poem just destroys
any hope the reader had before he/she read
it. Wow I am in awe... I love how it started just
drew the reader into your tortured mind. I
liked these lines the best I could relate to
them so much it was scary... and it's almost
like the poem I am writing right now.
"I hear
myself screaming
but no one else can see
me drowning here today."
Just wonderful... I'll e-mail you tomorrow after
I get some sleep... its been to long.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Embers of a Once Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Friday, 7th January 2005 @ 05:51:46 PM AEST
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I came back to this tonight in hopes of being able to comment, but I think all I can say is that it's profoundly sad and that I'd like to clean up your spelling for you. Oh, I have to wonder if the five tears are a symbol of hope. I can surely see them that way.
Stitch |
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