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Sunrise Beauty
Contributed by
Scubasteve1345
on
Tuesday, 30th November 2004 @ 01:00:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Sitting on the beach,
You and I sit,
Watching the sunrise
I look into your eyes,
And I see the beauty of the sun in your eyes,
It's the most beautiful thing to see
Looking at you,
The sun reveals the most beautiful face ever,
I get a warm feeling of pride looking at you
Looking back at the sun,
All I see is your face,
Which brings a smile of happiness to my face
I say to myself,
What makes her love me?
It's a question I always ask myself
But it doesn't matter,
I love her and she loves me
Copyright ©
Scubasteve1345
... [
2004-11-30 13:00:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sunrise Beauty
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyaryssa on
Tuesday, 30th November 2004 @ 01:38:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Aww, aint love grand?
I think you overused beauty. And didn't like how you said face at the end of two lines in a row. But tis simple and honest, and that's the stuff good poetry is made of, right? |
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Re: Sunrise Beauty
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Friday, 4th February 2005 @ 02:47:35 PM AEST
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| Nice little write. Easy to find where your inspiration came from. I agree with what was previously said, a bit of diversity could help it along, but i hope i didnt sound mean saying that. At the time of writing this, I'm feeling kind of down in terms of the relationship im in. What your poem did for me is just kind of re-assess how happy she makes me feel, and I simply related to the subject matter here. Thank u for writing this. |
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Re: Sunrise Beauty
(User Rating: 1 )
by misspurpledlw on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 10:12:31 AM AEST
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| Thank you for sharing this with us, Miss Purple |
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Re: Sunrise Beauty
(User Rating: 1 )
by xMizeriex on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 08:52:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Awww, that's so sweet.
Bx |
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