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rhapsody
Contributed by
Contralogicus
on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 07:29:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
psychoticpoems
|
Some rhapsody
Instilled in me
The fear, fear
So near to what
I have within
Me.
The melody was stifled
By my own philharmonic
Twists and turns
My stomach churns
Spills its toxic brew
Spindly fingers grasp
For what?
But bitter thoughts
That dwell in
Tortured minds
The tape deck’s broken
Its jaws have crushed
The memory of life
Whose cruelty can
No longer be viewed.
Copyright ©
Contralogicus
... [
2004-11-29 19:29:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: rhapsody
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 08:56:44 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| fantastic write. very creative and original. =] |
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Re: rhapsody
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 05:37:30 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Your meter is sound, as well as your structure.
An interesting rhyme scheme.
Yet what has intrigued me most -is the well adapted language as well as the underpinning concepts which venture deep into your emotions, dwelling and evoking the thoughts which plague you most.
The intangible is very much tangible at times... you displayed this thoroughly through your words:
"Spindly fingers grasp
For what?
But bitter thoughts"
I very much liked this piece.
Spectacular, spectacular!
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Re: rhapsody
(User Rating: 1 )
by deepviolet on
Friday, 10th June 2005 @ 11:27:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is a great poem. i like the way it's written. good job. |
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