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Artisan
Contributed by
emphaticplacebo
on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 08:29:49 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
A body is a canvas and its sordid mind, the artist
Conceiving. Always conceiving the next stroke
Taut and Lustrous. A trenchant brush paints away
Leaving but only a single colour of deep scarlet
Along with the relief of a liberated, dark secret
Close your eyes, visualise your next work of art
Artisan. Use your tools of creation and destruction
Let it soothe you, yet kill you slowly from the inside out
Like a dissipating fortress. Crumbling ever so slowly
With only a failing defense and its will to drive them
Let the cup runneth over. Indulge in the deliverance
Martyr. Sacrifice this life with a view for the next
Start anew with a blank canvas.
Artisan.
Copyright ©
emphaticplacebo
... [
2004-11-29 08:29:49] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Artisan
(User Rating: 1 ) by deathdrop on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 08:34:51 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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very creatively written, i filled my imagination in deep thoughts. |
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Re: Artisan
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jodwin on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 10:44:43 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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First the criticism, then the praises...
It was a bit hard to follow because most of the lines didn't have either a comma or a dot in the end, you couldn't tell for sure where a sentence ends.
Then the praises. Despite that I couldn't get many emotions from it, it was one of the best written poems I've ever red. Very well written and very good use of different words and metaphores. I love it. |
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Re: Artisan
(User Rating: 1 ) by bobotheclown on
Monday, 5th September 2005 @ 08:45:24 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I do not think I KNOW that this poem is
awesome. The line structure was a bit
disjointed but nevertheless a trulyremarkable
slightly disturbing write. Wonderful I can say
nothing more.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Artisan
(User Rating: 1 ) by FleurdeSang on
Thursday, 6th October 2005 @ 02:12:13 PM AEST (User
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A canvas lays before you with delicate, white emptiness... Like skin, you caress it with respectful tenderness, and let the thoughts flow through your fingertips.. Tell me, artisan, do you paint with a brush, or a knife? Are the colors cerulean or sinful scarlet? My, my, your morbid emotinos have been transfered into my soul, and I feel myself changing... succumbing to the poet within, and I believe.. I will pick up my pen, and bleed a masterpiece of my own.
*STANDING OVATION!* My friend, you have created a delicious fragment of perfection for my eyes to read time and time again! Absolutely enchanting and dark! LOVED IT! I am impressed, actually, lol. Your talent is clearly shown here. Many roses and applauses for this divine specimen of poetic genius. Thank you for sharing, :-). You'll be seeing more of me, cheri Dan! ^_^. Much love. Always,
Your dear friend and avid fan,
~*Stephy*~ |
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