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Dramatic Condiments
Contributed by
Rxqueen
on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 04:13:49 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
"Where Is he?!"
he yelled looking around the house
"sir, up stairs"
Why? Why did she say that?
Why is she not up there with him leaving through the window?
If only she could have mustered up the courage...
but maybe she can still catch up...
no
he will be caught now
her legs felt like jelly standing there
had he gotten out
had he climed down the oak?
but her heart knew when she heard the sound...
the bang
the thump
the footsteps slowly coming down the stairs
she wanted to run
but what was the point?
her only reason to live was up stairs
the man appeared from the corridor
blood spattered like a red sauce on his clean white shirt
he looked as if he was relishing in the fact...
"Murderer!"
"Quiet little girl "
the tone in which he spoke was like salt in an open wound,
one she knew would never heal
and as quickly as he came
he left
should she go upstairs and see?
Should she go anywhere?
She sat...
She was a one man woman
and her one man
was gone
but they both knew this is the grave he had dug...
Copyright ©
Rxqueen
... [
2004-11-29 04:13:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dramatic Condiments
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 04:29:01 AM AEST
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LMAO that was weird but in a nice way, had to read it twice before I got what condiments you were saying. Honestly Jocelyn this is a heck of a sad funny write.
Hugs,
Jane |
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Re: Dramatic Condiments
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampyre_BloodWraith on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 05:31:36 AM AEST
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| Like a thriller unfolding, your words have capture and held the intrigue and sadness completely. |
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Re: Dramatic Condiments
(User Rating: 1 )
by girish on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 06:21:16 AM AEST
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nice write fully dramatic
girish |
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Re: Dramatic Condiments
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 08:56:38 AM AEST
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| very weird... but then after reading "Mr. Dr." I guess I could expect anything from you! Great stuff. |
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Re: Dramatic Condiments
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Monday, 29th November 2004 @ 09:12:20 AM AEST
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hehehe very different and amazingly written,
pixie xx |
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Re: Dramatic Condiments
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Sunday, 5th December 2004 @ 11:17:00 PM AEST
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very wierd but interesting nonetheless... I
extend my compliments or should I say my
condiments!?!?! oh haha I crack myself up...
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Dramatic Condiments
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Monday, 6th December 2004 @ 04:59:40 AM AEST
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I don't believe I have read anything quite like this. I think it very creative and entertianing. I'm impressed.
Naz ~ |
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Re: Dramatic Condiments
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 7th December 2004 @ 06:30:24 AM AEST
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Very creative and original!
Wonderful job! |
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Re: Dramatic Condiments
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 01:35:58 AM AEST
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| this was so clever, i loved how you "peppered" the condiments thoughout the poem. very ingenious, i loved reading this. a great write. |
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Re: Dramatic Condiments
(User Rating: 1 )
by Black13 on
Saturday, 11th December 2004 @ 07:40:59 PM AEST
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I liked it.
I liked the story line but I think I would love more to it.
I think you could make an absolutely awesome story out of this one.
Awesome write. |
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Re: Dramatic Condiments
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 17th December 2004 @ 07:06:41 AM AEST
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You have an ability for atmospheric prose.
I think you should go write some kind of serial.
Thanks for sharing. |
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Re: Dramatic Condiments
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sinned on
Thursday, 23rd December 2004 @ 08:15:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I'd like to make a condiment.
Cute Real Cute !
Sinned |
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