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would u?....
Contributed by
karmen
on
Sunday, 28th November 2004 @ 12:33:06 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
if i just ran away,
and never came back,
would u miss me?
if i just left this place,
never to return again,
would u remember me?
if i just died unexpectidly,
would u care?
would u be there?
would u even notice?
or would u be to bizy,
playing yur little games,
to even realize im gone?
would u?...
Copyright ©
karmen
... [
2004-11-28 00:33:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: would u?....
(User Rating: 1 )
by Live2Die on
Sunday, 28th November 2004 @ 12:53:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I think it's an awesome write, and well thought out, but you might want to go over the spelling. For instance "bizy" would actually look alot better and read alot better as "busy". |
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Re: would u?....
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jodwin on
Sunday, 28th November 2004 @ 02:47:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Excluding the rather "immature" spelling and "old" theme, I think it's a rather good write. |
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Re: would u?....
(User Rating: 1 )
by AliB on
Sunday, 28th November 2004 @ 03:46:36 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Great poem, I've written something similar, 'Would Anyone Notice?' when I was feeling invisible to the world. Don't worry, it gets better, we have to make people see us!
Ali xx |
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