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Twinkle, Twinkle

Contributed by anonymous_skies on Saturday, 27th November 2004 @ 09:25:34 PM in AEST
Topic: InspirationalPoems



If the stars blinked back at him
Subtly, tenderly
Sprinkling his night sky with fullness

He didn't feel it.

If the night embraced him
Softly, lovingly
Soothing the sunburnt realities.

He didn't know.

If the breezes caressed him
Timidly, yearningly
Breathing his smoldered desires
Back to life

He wished on.


"Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wish for things so far
Waiting on those dreams afar

Can't I wonder who you are?"




Copyright © anonymous_skies ... [ 2004-11-27 21:25:34]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Twinkle, Twinkle (User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on Saturday, 27th November 2004 @ 10:27:36 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Oooh, I love it.

You begin wonderfully and it just gets better . . . this has gotta be the best poem I've read all day.

Only thing that marred how perfect this was-- the double rhyme of far and afar. Nothing terrible, but it detracted a little. Is there anything you could use in place of one?

Just a thought.

Anyhow, great job. Keep writing, I'll keep reading.

--Nora


Re: Twinkle, Twinkle (User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on Sunday, 28th November 2004 @ 10:57:24 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
"Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wish for things so far
Waiting on those dreams afar


Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wish for things so far.
then put my wishes in a jar

If I could have one dream come true
That dream would only be of you
So I keep that jar beside my heart
where it's been so torn apart

Hope that there beside the jar..
by the hearts one little scar

A wish made on a star on night
may like a magic rug take flight

And make my only wish come true.
Star bright, Star light..bring me, YOU.




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