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Request Denied
Contributed by
jaeann
on
Saturday, 27th November 2004 @ 02:17:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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As she....
flitters beneath the sunlight and rests upon the shelf, free within the delight of her single-minded self, remembering all the stones so turned shielding her place to hide, walking through bridges yet burned she's stumbling over her pride.......
If they don't put any value to it then why should she....
If no one bothers to listen then she can never believe.....
If one denies the need for her then he's lost the right to see.....
If all she does is hunger for more then why begin to feed....
If what is there is just all talk then who is she to deem....
And if they never choose to find her then how is she to breathe....
So she....
flitters in the darkness and falls down from the shelf, lost inside the quietness of her broken-minded self, leaving all the stones unturned and slipping off to hide, casting glances at the bridges burned and swallowing all her pride........
Copyright ©
jaeann
... [
2004-11-27 14:17:38] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Request Denied
(User Rating: 1 ) by cuddlytiger17 on
Saturday, 27th November 2004 @ 03:05:42 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I absolutely LOVED this!!! Great job! So very thought provoking and wonderfully molded. The line: "If all she does is hunger for more then why begin to feed..." is what drew me in, and I'm glad. Not only is it a good catch line, but also a great contribution to the rest of the poem. The last stanza is perfect. The fact that it's a slight alteration to the first stanza, the flow, and the overall feel, is just overwhelming. |
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Re: Request Denied
(User Rating: 1 ) by Kie on
Saturday, 27th November 2004 @ 04:20:08 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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The second stanza was my favorite. This is a jaw opener, I tell you it is POWERFUL to the mind.
Incredible and then some...
Kie |
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Re: Request Denied
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rakerman1999 on
Saturday, 27th November 2004 @ 08:01:49 PM AEST (User
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There is always so much sadness and self doubt in your writes. You are much too talented..and much to good a person to feel such darkness.
none the less....another excellent write
Roses
Larry |
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