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i guess
Contributed by
Cancer
on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 10:28:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
goodbyepoetry
|
i guess it's over
(i always "guess"
i "guess" i'm never sure
about anything
but i don't think
that there's much guesswork here
it's over)
i don't guess it matters
not much missed
once all is gone
just another empty slot
someone will fill it soon
just the memory of a ghost
and a barcode left behind
(dreams
and in the end
that's all they were
just dreams
that's all)
finally put the pen aside
use both hands to keep it all inside
not ashamed of all the lies
because i really beLIEved i could do it
i "guess" i was wrong
goodbyes are too awkward and long
best just to fade to black
burn out, fade away
it's all the same
in the end
the fire dies
Copyright ©
Cancer
... [
2004-11-23 22:28:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: i guess
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Tuesday, 23rd November 2004 @ 11:58:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| omg i love it, well done!!! |
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Re: i guess
(User Rating: 1 )
by THORN on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 12:24:19 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Fantastic write, 5 stars!
Quote: "just the memory of a ghost
and a barcode left behind"
I really like that part, being creative and different is not something all ppl think about. They like to stick to traditional - nothing will go wrong.
But use whatever comes to your head, no matter how insane it sounds, believe in your heart as poetry is the language of the soul.
Cheers,
-XRaye
(sry about the long review heh) |
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Re: i guess
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Wednesday, 24th November 2004 @ 01:04:30 AM AEST
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"finally put the pen aside
use both hands to keep it all inside"
I loved those two lines. This was such a sad
poem I don't really know what to say.
Bobo (Joel)
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Re: i guess
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Wednesday, 8th December 2004 @ 05:09:47 PM AEST
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First off, I loved the title. Very original...I like original poets...they're more fun to read. And you've got some great lines that people have already pointed out, but I'll pick out my favorites....
I liked the first stanza because you're letting the reader into your own thought process...To me that always expresses realness....
just another empty slot
someone will fill it soon
just the memory of a ghost
and a barcode left behind
great image, I like the use of the word "barcode" in poetry. Haven't heard it before. It reminds me of this empty, superficial, fake, plastic, Britney Spears, American culture we live in.
And the last stanza was great too.
burn out, fade away
it's all the same
in the end
the fire dies
I felt that.
Be True,
zenmind |
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Re: i guess
(User Rating: 1 )
by sicknivesevered on
Saturday, 18th December 2004 @ 07:54:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| ***** real. Thats it. You strengthened my indifference and I thank you for it. ***** pure - excellent write. |
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